Trying to Throw my Arms Around the World

Pizza delivery

Pizza

“Is it the pizza?” Lou asked from the shadows of the house. “Let me get some cash.”

I just stood there, unable to move again, this time pinned to the ground by shock and disgust. Claire lifted a hand to her mouth and shook her head a little bit.

“It’s not what you think,” she said. But it obviously was. Lou materialised from the dark hallway, dressed in nothing but a long green t-shirt that spelled ‘HELP’ across her chest in enormous white letters.

“It’s not the pizza,” I said and steadied myself against the wall. “I’m so fucking sorry to disappoint you.” I took a deep breath, hoping it would calm the violent thunder of my heart. I tried to walk away but my legs seemed to have lost all power so I just stayed there, glued to the wall, unable to look at them and equally unable to leave.

“Fuck. Lee,” Lou said.

A bright red scooter arrived.

“Oh, pizza’s here,” I said. “Enjoy.” I pulled some bills from my pocket and threw them on the pavement. “Here, it’s on me.” Then I finally walked away. I only had one place to go. It was almost ten by then and I could only hope Alex would be home.

“First thing on Monday,” Alex said, “I quit.” He shoved a large glass of brandy in my hand. “You can be absolutely sure of that.”

“I don’t know if I should laugh really hard or cry my eyes out right now, Alex. It’s just too fucking much.”

“Actually, I’ll call her tomorrow and tell her I won’t be coming in at all anymore. I never want to see that lying skank’s face again.” He took large gulps of the whiskey he had poured himself. “Don’t you dare spill one more tear for her.”

“If I cry it won’t be for Claire Burns. I can tell you that.” His phone was buzzing out of control. I had switched mine off on the way over, not able to stand their continuous calls for attention.

“Stop calling and go fuck yourself,” he yelled into his mobile and threw it in the couch. Alex seemed so much angrier than me. I was still more baffled than enraged, shock preventing me from feeling anything too big. “I’m so sorry, Lee. I should have followed my gut instinct and never have gone to work for Sanders & Burns.”

“It’s not your fault. Claire has shown her true colours again and Lou must have been the easiest prey she ever chased. It was bound to happen really. Inevitable.”

“I will not let them get away with it. As I live and breathe, I will make them pay.”

I was still so stunned I had to giggle at his boundless fury. The whole situation was so ridiculous, so unreal, my brain just couldn’t process it – it refused to compute.

“I truly believed Lou was a person with impeccable morals. Claire must have really pulled out all the stops,” Alex said.

“She works in advertising and she was the first to buckle when Claire made the big money offer, so basically, it was all talk and no action. Anyway, it hardly matters now.”

“I’ll never work with her again, I promise you that much. I’ll never look her in the fucking eye again.”

I was touched by Alex’s display of support. He paced through the living room, the liquor spilling from his glass as he gesticulated dramatically. At least I have him, I thought. This guy who has seen me through the worst. Then the tears came. The pain and betrayal crashed down on me and I sat crying in his arms for what felt like hours. An intrusive ring of the doorbell pierced through the silence that had come after the storm. We both knew who it was.

To be continued…