Trying to Throw my Arms Around the World

No was not an option

No

My short-legged skips were no match for Lou’s lengthy strides and before I turned the corner of my street she had caught up with me. A dull sting inched its way forward from the back of my skull. I’d had about enough of conversations concerning Claire.

“Can I come inside?” Lou pointed her head towards the front door of Eleanor’s house a couple of feet further down the road. I hadn’t reached a stage in which I could say no to her yet, it was all still very yes yes yes, please do.

“Only if you fuck me in complete and utter silence.” Her eyes lit up and shone with the most loveable kind of mischief. No matter what she decided about the job, I’d accept it in the end. She started rolling a cigarette on the sidewalk because Eleanor’s house had a strict no-smoking policy. I had reached that stage in which I started making gentle disapproving comments about her nicotine habit, this time I shot her an offended, slightly disgusted stare, accompanied by a mild eye-roll.

“Maybe I should quit,” she said, but I knew it was only to humour me. She didn’t mean it.

“And maybe the world will be perfect when I wake up tomorrow.”

“Who knows? It just might.” The smile curling around her lips went straight to my gut, gripping me tightly, mercilessly, leaving me no choice but to kiss her against the cold brown-bricked wall.

Later, we lounged in Eleanor’s couch, glad to have the house to ourselves, enjoying its spacious roominess.

“I told you about my friend Vic coming back this weekend, didn’t I?” Lou asked.

“Only a million bloody times.” I was just teasing, relieved that the topic was something else than Claire Burns. “She’s been away for a year, finding herself in Asia − how original − and will be staying with you until she figures out what to do with her life in London.

“I’m so excited. We grew up together. And she was my first.”

“How old were you?”

“Fifteen.”

“Someone started early.”

“Surrey gets pretty boring during grey wet summers. We had to do something.”

“I suppose there aren’t many other options apart from exploring lady love.”

“It was the first time I got my heart broken as well.”

“Did she dump you for a guy?”

“Several times.”

“But you stayed friends?”

“BFFs.”

“For some reason the term BFF coming from your mouth seems infinitely ridiculous.”

“I know, I normally wouldn’t use it, but I make an exception for Vic − the only exception.”

“She must be quite something.”

“She is. You’ll see.” As curious as I was to meet the infamous Victoria, little spurts of anxiety prevented me from anticipating her pending return in too joyous a manner. I’d never heard Lou speak so affectionately about anyone else before. I could only hope she used the same tone when she spoke of me to her friends and acquaintances. Then my phone rang. It was Claire. My first instinct was to hurl my mobile into another room and ignore the call completely but I just sat staring at it. “Who is it?” Lou asked.

“Claire.”

“Aren’t you going to pick up?”

“I don’t think so.”

“I think you should.” I pushed the green button and answered Claire’s call, but only because I couldn’t say no to Lou yet.

To be continued…