Trying to Throw my Arms Around the World

Our beloved boss

Our lovely boss

The next day at work I made a point of avoiding Lucy’s eyes. Jill’s little revelation hadn’t come as a complete surprise, but it was still enough to put me on edge and my nerves already felt so raw. To top it off that week was my dear colleague Millie’s last one at Blogging The Globe. She was moving to Italy with her geologist husband, who got transferred there by his employer. 

“I hate you, Millie,” I said. “For leaving me alone with all these men.”

“Don’t be daft,” she said. “You love being around them. How many female friends do you actually have? Not including anyone you’ve slept with first.”

“Loads,” I lied. “And now I’ll have to eat my lunch with Annabelle.”

“I’m getting a replacement, you know. She’s arriving on Wednesday so I can break her in.”

“What do you know about her?”

“She’s one of the Marie-Claire bunch that got laid off a few months ago. So I presume she’ll have some issues of bitterness and resentment to deal with. That should make for a good conversation starter.”

I was sorry to see Millie go. We were hardly best friends – because we were co-workers I had never confided in her about Lucy and there was always a certain threshold of information I couldn’t cross, standing in the way of a more familiar, cosy demeanour – but she was always up for a laugh and, truth be told, she was the only straight girl I had sustained somewhat of a friendship with without any of the drama and awkwardness that comes with unrequited attraction or loose sexual arrangements.

“If there’s anything else you want to know,” Millie said. “You’ll have to ask our beloved boss Lucy.”

“Do you still mean that ironically?”

“She’s not so bad. She tries hard not to play favourites, but I wasn’t born yesterday. I’ve seen her look at you and I’ve heard her voice drop a few pitches when she talks about you. As long as Lucy’s in charge, your future here is safe.”

“What?” I felt my cheeks flush. “I’ve no idea–”

“Drop the act. I’m leaving soon and you have nothing to fear from me.”

“Look, Millie, whatever it is you think you know–”

“It’s all right. I don’t need explanations. Just be careful and don’t let her fuck you over because she can’t have what she so desperately wants.” 

We had stayed behind in the conference room after the Monday morning staff meeting, the only safe place to talk. Suddenly the door opened and Lucy barged in.

“Oh,” she said, “sorry, ladies. I have a meeting here with Millie’s successor in five minutes. Millie, can you come back in half an hour, please? Lee, can you stay for a moment?”

Millie winked at me and slowly exited the room. Lucy closed the door and leaned against it.

“How was your weekend?” she asked. “Jill’s nice, isn’t she?”

I didn’t know what to say not to hurt her feelings. I surely wasn’t up for a big confrontation. I just nodded and walked to the door, indicating that I wanted to leave.

“Will you be home tonight? Joan’s got classes all night so I’m having dinner at Auntie Eleanor’s.”

“I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”

“I know this is a difficult time for you, Lee. If you need a friend, I’m here.” She said it matter-of-factly, without any hint of underlying emotions. I bet you are, I thought. A knock on the door saved me and I slipped out quickly while Annabelle escorted my newest colleague inside. I was in such a rush to leave that I didn’t even check what she looked like. Then I made immediate plans to get out of the house that night.

To be continued…