I've Never Cried

Chapter Twenty-four - "I Ruined Everything."

"I've Never Cried"

Chapter Twenty-four

'I Ruined Everything."

Joe's POV

I remember being little, when I lived with my mom, just after she and my dad's divorce. My mom was always so tender and sweet with me; never crass or rude. She understood me when I thought no one else did.

One day, when I was about nine years old and Nick was around seven, and I'd lost the class pet, Mom was there to console me. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders when she saw me break into tears, angry at myself for ruining something that no one else had ever ruined; for causing something to happen that, before me, had never previously happened.

"Joe," she whispered to me, running a hand through my long hair, at the time. Her voice calmed me down the slightest bit, but I was still hysterical. "Joe, you can't let this overtake you. Your classmates will understand." Disrespectfully, I yanked my shoulder from her grip, wiping my tears and glaring down at the ground.

"You just don't get it, Mom," I'd muttered, sniffling. "I ruined everything. I broke something that I can't fix, and now everyone hates me." I heard my mom inhale deeply, then exhale, as she prepared to speak again.

"Come here, Joseph," I slowly turned and looked at her, and saw that her arms were open for me to climb into. Hesitantly, I crawled into my mother's lap, and she'd cradled me, her voice easy in my ear. "Listen, sweetie. Everyone makes mistakes at least once in their lives. But the way I see it, you can't just mope about the mistake you made. I know you can't take back what happened; no one can. But what you can do," she lifted my chin and looked down at me, wiping my tears with her small thumb. I blinked my eyes slowly, relaxing at the sound of her voice. "Is keep trying. Make the effort to mend things. Hey," She kissed my forehead, and pushed back my long, shaggy bangs. Slowly I opened my large brown eyes, as she regained my attention. "Don't give up just yet, son, or you might lose grip of what you're holding on to, so tightly."

For a second, it didn't seem like she was talking to me. It was like she was speaking to someone far off, that only she could see. Maybe even herself. She smiled down at me then, stroking my temple, telling me that she loved me, always.

I didn't really understand then, because my mistake had been so minor; so mediocre. But now I stand, in shame and in guilt of what I'd done not only to Demi, but to my brother. Where I stand is on the edge of a cliff, just a strong wind away from going over; plummeting to the bottom.

The only way to save myself is to hope that somehow, I'll survive this fall. Hope that maybe, on the way down, I'll catch a branch, and will be able to scratch my way back to the surface.

It wouldn't be easy, but I would try.

I just had to.

JJDL

*****The Story gets crazy from here on out, so I'm going to need to know your thoughts! If I can get 10 comments on this chapter, I will post the MAJOR INSANITY that is about to ensue for all of you guys. Much love<3*****