Final part of this story...
Jacob let himself back into the house and removed his shoes by the door. He took a deep breath, taking in that familiar smell of the house that he was so used to now, it was comforting.
It was quiet.
It was usually quiet with it being just the two of them living in the house, but today, it was an uncomfortable quiet.
He took slow steps to the kitchen where he had left Connie, now two hours ago.
He looked at her slumped on the floor, puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks, hair fallen over her face.
She looked at him stood in the doorway, through her tear filled eyes.
Jacob sighed. She looked so vulnerable sat there before his eyes. He had never seen her look so weak and helpless.
He hated to see her like that.
Silence filled the kitchen.
They both looked at each other for a while.
Until Jacob finally spoke.
"Connie, what were you thinking?"
Connie was surprised at how calm his voice was.
But, she didn't know what to say, because she honestly had no idea what she had been thinking. In fact, she wasn't thinking at all when she did it, her body just took control of her actions.
She shrugged and a tear rolled down her cheek.
Jacob looked away for a moment.
The way she was looking at him, those sad eyes. It was just making him want to give her a hug and hold her tightly to comfort her.
He took slow steps towards her and finally stopped beside her, slowly lowering himself to the ground.
They sat, side by side, in silence for a while, both staring forwards.
"What is it about Sam, that's better than me?" Jacob asked.
Connie was speechless. She hated the despair in Jacob's voice, she hated that she had made him feel like that. Sam didn't compare to Jacob at all. With Sam, it was never love.
Jacob sighed. "Do you still have feelings for him or something?"
"No Jacob. It's not like that. It was never like that."
"So what is it like then Connie? I mean I get it, he's the more suited choice - posh surgeon living in New York. I bet he has a big house, fancy cars, the lot. Me, I'm just a nurse. I'm not what you want, or what you need. We're different people, me and you. Maybe we both knew that this was never going to work."
Connie closed her eyes. If someone had told her, 10 years ago, that she would have fallen for a nurse, she wouldn't believe them.
But now, she couldn't care less. She didn't view Jacob as different to her, she didn't see their job roles as having any relevance to their feelings for each other.
"That's not true Jacob." she whispered.
Jacob sighed in frustration. "So what is the truth Connie? I am trying so hard here, to understand. But do you realise how hard this is? All I have ever done is be honest with you. You have to let me in."
Jacob was right, he deserved an explanation.
Connie blinked away the tears and took a deep breath. "I was different when I knew Sam. He was right when he said you would be amazed at how different I used to be. In fact, you would be ashamed. Do you know what I did, to get my way? I used men to my advantage, I slept with them, then disregarded them like they had no feelings. The worst part, I was still married at the time. But that marriage, with Michael, that wasn't love. We were both as bad as each other. I trusted him, and he used me, to save himself. He let me resign from my position, just so he could save his own job. He watched me compromise my position for his lies, then had the decency to have an affair with a nurse. But I think I knew deep down, that was always going to happen.
I didn't let that affect me though. I didn't need him. I had a career, I had money, I had power.
Things didn't change. I used Sam, my registrar to get what I wanted. This time, it was a baby. What kind of person does that? So now look me in the eye and tell me you don't hate me Jacob. Tell me, that you can still love me, after everything I have done. Tell me that I'm the kind of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with." Connie placed her hands over her eyes and let the tears spill. She had done it, exposed herself, dropped her barriers completely.
Jacob paused to think, as he took it all in. He couldn't hate her if he tried.
"Connie."
Connie removed her hands from her face and looked at him.
Jacob spoke softly. "Connie, I don't hate you. Because you know what? I don't care about the woman you used to be. Why should I let that affect my feelings towards you? Tell me why I should hate you for things you did in the past. The Connie that I fell in love with, that's the Connie right here next to me. I love you for who you are now. I believe in you, I believe you have changed and I believe that you're not the same person as you were. It's up to you now Connie, to believe that yourself. You need to let go of the past before you can move forward with the future. You have to trust me, you have to let me in. Most importantly, you need to decide what makes you happy, and finally let yourself be happy."
Jacob was right. She needed to let go. The past didn't matter anymore, there was no way she could change it. The one thing she could change was how she wanted her future to be. What makes you happy? There was no doubt in Connie's mind. Jacob made her happy.
"You. You make me happy." She whispered.
She closed her eyes.
She never wanted to loose Jacob. He accepted her for all of her flaws, didn't care about her past. He was right, it was time to let go of the past and focus on her future - a happy future, with him.
