It's been a while, but I fancied writing a quick oneshot!
Connie raised her office blind just a fraction so she could look out in to the emergency department.
It had been a very long and tough few months for her while recovering from her addiction, and now she was trying to find her feet again as clinical lead. She was embarrassed and she was lonely. She was supposed to be the one in power but everyone had seen her at her most vulnerable and she was so ashamed. How would she gain everyone's respect once more?
Connie flinched as something coming towards her brought her out of her thoughts. She let go of the blind and smoothed out her blouse, just as a knock presented at the door.
"Come in" she said shortly, as she took her place in her seat behind the desk again.
"Jacob" Connie smiled as it was Jacob who appeared in the doorway "how can I help you?"
Jacob shuffled the papers that he was holding for a second and then held them out towards Connie.
"For you" he simply said.
Connie retrieved the papers from Jacob and placed them on the desk in front of her.
Jacob lingered a little awkwardly while he watched Connie neaten the papers into a perfect pile.
Connie looked up to notice Jacob staring at her so gave another small smile.
"Anything else, Nurse Masters?" She asked
Jacob looked away and shook his head.
"Best get back out there" he said with a sweet smile.
Connie nodded and watched him leave.
She let out a sigh as the door shut.
She was lonely. Even Jacob, once her lover, was hardly a friend anymore. She couldn't remember the last time they had a meaningful conversation about anything other than work.
She still got butterflies whenever she caught sight of Jacob, of course. He was the first man she truly loved and she let him go.
Jacob walked towards the nurses station but took one last look back at Connie's office door.
He knew she must be feeling so lonely, after everything that had happened. Jacob was ashamed too, for he had not been there for any of Connie's lowest points over the last year, barely even a friend she could talk to.
He still had feelings for her, of course, so why had he not been there to protect her?
It was Connie who had made it clear they were over, but Jacob knew deep down that was not what she wanted and he should have fought harder for the woman he loved.
Jacob rested his elbows on the counter and wondered. Was it too late? Was it a silly idea to try and rekindle things with Connie after all this time?
It was late evening in the emergency department, after a full on and busy day.
Connie was walking out of resus, head down and focus elsewhere. Now she was better, her head was so much clearer. She couldn't stop thinking about the events of the last few years and what had gone wrong, how she could have changed things.
Jacob was one of those things.
Why did she let Jacob go? She thought it was for the best, but truthfully she had never been as happy since things ended with him.
Connie looked up and tried to shake the thoughts from her mind. It was silly, regretting things in the past. She had to move on and accept it. It was silly to think anything could ever be like it was, right?
Connie was stood at one of the computers to check a patient's file when she heard a voice behind her.
"How are you?" The voice asked.
Connie turned around and returned the smile that Jacob was wearing.
"I'm fine" she replied.
Jacob did a small nod.
"It's been two weeks, so I think I've settled back in" Connie continued, as she sensed Jacob wasn't convinced by her first response.
Jacob nodded again and fiddled with a pen on the side.
"Listen, I just wanted to say... I'm sorry... about before" Jacob began quietly. "Everything that's happened...I should have been there for you. I should have noticed that you were struggling."
Connie shook her head. "No. You weren't to know. No one did." She sighed sadly.
Jacob put his hand tentatively on Connie's upper arm. "I'm glad you're alright" he said.
Connie looked down at his hand and smiled.
Maybe they could be friends after all. This could be a chance to start again.
"I'm erm sorry too." Connie began. "We...us...I wish I hadn't ended things like-"
Connie was interrupted by Jacob who shook his head and rubbed connie's upper arm gently.
"You did what you thought was best, for you and Grace"
"And look how that turned out." Connie laughed sarcastically.
Jacob smiled sympathetically as Connie looked away.
The pair stood in silence for a few minutes before Jacob held out his hand to shake.
"Friends?" He asked.
Connie nodded and held out her hand to meet his.
As Jacob walked away he was feeling confused.
He was happy that he could be friends with Connie once more, but how could he be just friends with someone he loved?
Connie walked back to her office happier than she was before. She had one friend at least.
Although, maybe all they could ever be again was just friends.
It had been a month since Connie returned to the ED and she was feeling more comfortable and settled.
She was happy that she had a friend in Jacob and everyone had adjusted to her being back.
It was nice to be laughing with Jacob again, but it just brought back the painful memories of what they could have been.
Jacob too, was reminded of the softer side to Connie that he loved and struggled to switch off deeper feelings towards her. It was too much for Jacob - he didn't want to be friends with Connie, he wanted to go back to how things used to be.
He needed to tell Connie how he really felt, even if nothing came of it, for the sake of his own mind.
Connie jumped slightly when there was a sharp knock at the door.
"Come in" she said as she smoothed her hair.
Jacob marched into the office. He was on a mission. He had to tell Connie now, or he'd regret it.
"I need to tell you something Connie" Jacob started.
Connie sat up a little in her chair. She was surprised at Jacob's tone and nervous about what this could be. She gestured for Jacob to take a seat.
"I need to get this off my chest, because it's killing me." Jacob said as he sat down opposite Connie. "I'm so happy we have put behind our differences and rekindled our friendship, but I still have feelings for you. I know you ended things between us but I should have fought for you and I never should have let you go. I know things can never be like they used to, but I needed to let you know how I feel." Jacob finally paused and looked up at an astonished Connie.
"I..erm" Connie hesitated. She didn't know what to say. She never expected Jacob to still feel that way about her. It was reassuring though, as she felt the same way.
"Maybe...things could go back to how they were...I mean...I still have feelings for you" she said quietly.
Jacob was shocked.
"You do?" He asked.
Connie nodded. "I never stopped loving you"
Jacob stood up and moved closer to Connie.
"Maybe we could try again?" Jacob asked.
Connie smiled ever so slightly. "Maybe we could, nurse Masters"
Jacob grinned.
Connie stood up to meet Jacob.
"I promise to never let anything come between us again, sweetcheeks" Jacob smiled. "We were meant to be"
