The Journey - The College Years [One Direction Fanfic]

10

When I wake up the room is still empty. Spencer must've stayed at Liam's room. I'm glad she did. I take a shower before putting on a pair of jeans and a grey sweater and leaving for class. My eyes are swollen and red but I don't care. I just want to this day to be over already. I grab a coffee and head to class. I sit down in the back row so no one talks to me which doesn't seem to work because a few minutes later Cole sits down next to me. "Good morning" he says and gives me a smile. "Morning" I mumble and look away. I don't want to face him. In fact, I don't want to face anyone. I am too sad to speak and too exhausted to move. He seems to notice my bad mood. "It's gonna be better" he whispered. "What?" I ask confused. "I said it's going to be better." "You don't even know what happened" I snap. "You're right, but I do know that it's gonna be better someday." To be honest I am not so sure about that. I still manage to give him a sad smile because I know he's just trying to help even though 'Everything is going to be okay' is the worst advice ever. I decide to skip the following classes because I can't concentrate on anything besides Harrys letter anyways. I walk back to my room and change into my pajamas before getting into bed and staring at the ceiling. I imagine Harrys arm around mine and waking up with my head on his chest. My eyes start to tear up again. How could he think he isn't enough for me? He is so much more than that, he is perfect. I hear the door open and wipe my tears away to face Spencer. "Hey" she mumbles. "Hey" I answer because I am too tired to fight with her over the whole situation. She sits down at her desk and starts working on some assignment. I should get finished with mine. "I am so sorry" she whispers. "I know" I say. She turns around and looks at me. "Will we ever we friends again?" she asks with worry in her voice. "We never stopped being friends, Spencer. I just need to figure everything out" I tell her and she lets out a breath. "Are you gonna call him?" she asks. I shake my head. I know he doesn't want me to. "Well, Liam and I are going to the concert tonight, if you want to take your mind off things, you can come anytime." "Thanks, but I'll just stay inside." She nods. 

Liam picks up Spencer a few hours later and I decide to watch a movie. A few minutes later I regret not going to the concert. I feel like the room is getting smaller with every breath I take. I change into jeans and a sweater before leaving the room. I don't know where I am going, I just need to get out. I wander around campus before spotting a familiar face. Joey. "Lindsay?" he shouts when he notices me staring. "Uh, hi" I say and walk up to him. "What's up?" he asks. He seems to notice my swollen eyes but doesn't say anything. "I just need some company" I answer. "Alright, what do you want to do?" he asks. "Laugh" I say. A smile appears on his face. He grabs ahold of my hand and pulls me down the street. We stop walking in front of the bowling alley. We get inside and get bowling shoes. "Do you want a drink?" Joey asks me and I nod. I am glad came here but I keep thinking of Harry. "Everything okay?" Joey snaps me out of my thoughts and hands me a beer. I nod and take a sip while he starts playing. He seems so carefree and happy, just what Harry wants me to be. But I just feel empty and numb. 

An hour later my mood is way better than before. "That was fun" I say when Joey and I leave the bowling alley. "It really was" he answers and offers me a cigarette. I take one and light it up. Relief overwhelms me as I blow the smoke into the night. He walks me back to my room and I hug him goodbye before going inside. I grab my pajamas and towels and go take a shower. The hot water feels good on my exhausted and sad body. After putting on my sweatpants and sweater I make my way back to the room. As soon as I'm back in bed the sadness returns. I miss Harry and even though I had lots of fun with Joey, I know I would've enjoyed it more if I went there with Harry. I pull out my phone and think about calling him. In the end I decide against it, I wouldn't know what to say anyway. I dial Niall's number and wait for him to answer. "Linds?" "Hey, Niall" I say. "Hey, how are you?" He doesn't seem to know about Harry's letter. About the break-up. "Harry broke up with me" I say. "What? What do you mean?" "Uh, I am sorry. I shouldn't have called" I stutter and hang up the phone. What did I just do? Niall keeps calling and texting me but I ignore it.