On The Run [phan]

fourteen.

Phil decided he was done with being on his own. He was done obsessing over Dan like he was some school crush. He had a chance to be with the dreamy boy and yet he was hesitant.

The fatal marks of his last relationship still were fresh, reminding him of what falling too fast and too easily leads too.

It leads to having to change your name and run away and dye your hair.

But Dan seemed different. He seemed so nice and adorable and had the most astonishing brown eyes that couldn't even hold an ounce of hatred. He was innocent in its fullest meaning. And Phil was far from.

Phil often drowned in his own cruelties. They would stay just at the start of Phil's mouth threatening to suffocate him but not quite, mocking him almost.  The water was thick and heavy washing over his chest and arms and legs. Sometimes Phil would trip and find himself under the surface. That was the worst. When he worked so hard to push them away, almost to the point of livable. Then just the next moment he was gasping to only be greeted by water. Often Phil would allow this and sit at the bottom of the water watching the air above him wondering what it feels like to breath again. It takes a lot to accept that he needs to stop feeling self-pity and grow up. So he would resurface and wait for it to start again.

Phil got out his phone and let it fall through his fingers, catching it at the last moment several times trying to build up the courage to call Dan. 

This is dumb, call him.

So Phil dialed his number and waited anxiously for Dan to pick up. 

He smiled when he heard the familiar sound of Dans voice, "Phil?"

"Hey Dan."  Phil said while looking out of his window, "I wanted to talk about last night."

"Oh."  Dans voice dropped.

"Nothing bad."  Phil smiled, "I just wanted to clarify a few things."

"Go ahead." Dan mumbled and Phil couldn't help but imagine those lips curling at each word.  How it would slip out gracefully somehow, no matter what was said.  He imagined their warmth pressed against his own li-,"Phil?"

"Yeah, sorry."  Phil snapped back into it, "I just wanted to ask you if you truly do feel something here?"

"Yes."  Dan said and Phil felt a tug of relief.

Phil nodded, "okay good because I do too and I just wanted to make sure."

"It's okay, Phil."  Dan laughed lowly into the phone.

"What does this make us?" Phil sighed the question, "I hate asking this but I just need to know."

"Would it be far fetched if we went out?"

Phil felt his stomach clench, "no."

"Then let's go out and see where this goes."

"Come over."  Phil blurred.

"Okay."

Dan clicked off and Phil tossed his phone on the couch.  The television was running old American shows.  Phil paced the apartment trying to pass the time before Dan arrived. 

He didn't live that far away, did he?

Phil realized he didn't even know.  It just seems he shows up at the coffee place all the time, certainly that means that it's easy to get here?

Letting his eyes fall onto the painting Dan made, Phil smiled at it.  He let his fingers glide over the edges and nooks again, this time feeling like it was apart of him.  That in this moment Phil was just-