It hurts to love you (Billie Joe Armstrong)

I have to think about it

Billie was getting closer every second that passed. It made my hands sweat, my mind go in a whirl, my heart about to stop working. Should I stop him? Do I really want this to happen? But, before I could think of a decision Billie Joe was already softy kissing up my neck, towards my cheeks and targeted at my lips. He shift around so I was lying down on the couch and he was on top hovering above me. We were both deeply into the kiss, I didn't want to stop. Billie looked up at me breaking the kiss, a look of approval. This was my chance, should I continue this secret romance or break it for the good. I bit my lip unsure of what to do, why does the pressure have to be on me?

I looked deeply into his emerald green eyes, how could I say no to a face like that? I wrapped my arms around his neck and pushed him carefully connecting our lips back. He smiled into the kiss, of course he would. He lifted me up, pulling us both off the couch. I wrapped my legs around his waist still never disconnecting our lips. We attempted to walk towards the bed room. Mid way there he pushed me up against the wall losing his soft side and showing more aggression. I left out a small squeal in shock from his actions. He looked at me smiling.

"Can't handle the heat?"

I giggled, "Shut the fuck up and kiss me."

Slowly, but surely we made our way to the bedroom. He laid me down on the mattress as he crawled his way back on top, hovering above me again. Things began to get really heated at this point. My hands were roaming his strong muscular body.

The house phone began to ring, but we didn't stop, in till we heard the voice mail,

"Please leave a message after the beep *beep* Hey sky, how you are. I tried talking to Billie since yesterday. I'm really worried, is everything alright? Please call me back soon. Bye, love you."

Billie Joe and I looked each other in the eye.

"This isn't right." I said "we can't be doing this, its....it's just not right."

Billie let out a sigh brushing his hand against my check, "I know but...."

"But what?"

"I can't stop looking at you and think 'dam that girl is beautiful. She makes me happy, feel wanted and I want to be with her for the rest of my life' it's hard to stop loving you sky."

I was speechless with his words. I couldn't even look him in the eye, I was just so nervous, scared.

"Look its fine if you don't want to do this. It's fine if you don't love me back but that's never going to stop my feeling towards you."

"I love you." I said "I do love you and I want to be with you but how are we going to pull this off?"

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't obvious! First your WIFE could find out *fake cough* WIFE! The press can get their hands on this in a heartbeat. We post one innocent picture together and social media loses their minds! I mean come on were going to get caught!"

"But not if were carful! We can slip our way around this."

"Billie, I don't want to put this friendship at risk and I as hell don't want your career to be ruined. We have a huge age gap! Your ass can get thrown in jail. I want to be with you, really I do. But I'm afraid of what might happen because of it."

"I know but I think we can do this safely. Please just give it a chance, for us."

I didn't know what to think, "I'll think about it, okay?"

"Alright, deal. But don't call Adrienne."

"What! She's worried about you. I'll talk to her don't worry."

I got out of the bed and headed towards the living room to pick up the phone and call Adrienne back.

"Hello?"

"Hey Adrienne I got your voice message. Billie and I were just out of the house shopping around and what not. Sorry I should have reminded him to call you, guess we got caught up in time."

"Oh, that's good! Can I talk to Billie?"

I turned to face Billie Joe who was now standing beside me. I mouthed, "She wants to talk to you."

He looked scared as he took the phone from my hands," hey honey, what's up?"

I moved closer to the phone so I could hear the conversation.

"Hey Hun! It's been forever, guess you're having a lot of fun with sky."

"Yah were having the time of our lives here."

"Well that's good. I just want to catch up, it's been a while since we talked you know."

Billie turned to me and mouthed, "What do I say?"

I rolled my eyes, "just talk." I pushed him towards the bed room so they both can have a private conversation. Meanwhile I sat on the couch and tried to refresh my mind as to what had just happened in the pass half hour. I wasn't sure if I should keep doing this, it was so wrong but Billie makes me happy and special. I was just really worried about what could happened if our secret got leaked. I laid my head down looking up at the ceiling. Thinking and thinking I soon fell asleep.

-------------------------

I woke up to the sound of my ring tone. I looked around and noticed that it was already dark out. How long have I been sleep for? And where is Billie?

I got up and picked up my phone and looked at the caller id, "Jack"

I pressed on the green button, "hello?"

"Hey sky you won't believe what I found out!"

"What?"

"Im moving to PA!"

"What!? Really! That's awesome!"

"Yah, my roommate was thinking about selling the place once we both had enough money to live on our own and I found and apartment just 15 minutes away from you."

"Holy crap that's awesome. When will you start moving in?'

"Well I still have to pack my stuff and all this other adult shit but everything should be done in a few months."

"I can't wait! Also on top of your good news, Billie said he can get us into that 30 seconds to mars concert for free!"

"Really! Thank the lords!"

"Ha ha! Listen I'll talk to you later I have to do something."

"Okay talk to you later."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and walked around the apartment trying to find Billie.

He wasn't in the living room, the bed room, the bathroom.... Oh I know that music room.

I opened the door slightly to see him sitting on the floor strumming on one of the guitars I had.

"Oh Love, oh love

Won't you rain on me tonight?

Oh life, oh life

Please don't pass me by"

I quietly sighed. I slid down on the floor and sat down with my back up against the wall outside of the room.

"Don't stop, don't stop

Don't stop when the red lights flash

Oh ride, free ride

Won't you take me close to you?"

I was softly singing along with him.

"Far away, far away

Waste away tonight

I'm wearing my heart on a noose"