It hurts to love you (Billie Joe Armstrong)

Trapped in the rain

I turned over to look through the door again. I opened it slightly just enough to crawl into the room. I sat down next to Billie Joe and he didn't say a word.

"I-I don't think I can do this." I broke the tension.

We both sat there on the floor, in silence, a very uncomfortable silence. Billie then got up placed the guitar back and walked out.

"Where are you going!?" I got up and walked towards him

"Away."

"What! You're crazy!"

"I'll be back don't worry." He put on his coat and grabbed his phone.

I grabbed his shoulder turning him to look at me, "why are you mad?"

"I'm not mad." He said calmly

"Then why the fuck are you acting like this?"

"I need to think okay! This isn't an easy situation for me!"

"Then talk to me! This is our problem, not just yours! You can't keep walking around in the middle of know where, it won't help you!"

"We talked okay! You said you will think about it and you gave me your answer! Know it's my time to think about what the fuck I'm going to do!"

Billie turned back around and slammed the door in front of me. Are you fucking kidding me right now! He acts like all the pressure is on him! I love him too you now and how would you think my friends and family would react to that?! Or if social media found out, the death threats I would get! It's not sunshine and rainbows on myside. He has to understand this isn't right! I mean besides the huge age gap, his fucking married! The man is married!!!

I tried calling him one minute after another and he never picked up. The clouds were turning into gray and rain began to pour, oh great. I have to go looking for him, I can't leave him out there like this. I grabbed my hoodie, phone and keys and walked out. The longer I tried to find him, the harder the rain poured down.

I checked everywhere, the coffee shop, the music store, the park, and he was still nowhere to be found. I've been walking for a long time already and he was nowhere in sight. I began to panic more and more as the minutes few by. I was drenched in water still trying to find him. Did he just walk off and expected to never look back? I wanted to cry, just pour out all the tears that I have been holding back. I didn't want this to happen. I wanted to have fun and finally enjoy some time with my best friend, my side kick, but it seems like he was better off alone.

After 2 hours I lost hope. I sat on a nearby bench shoving my hands in my face and crying some more. How could I let this happen? Was this even my fault? I didn't know what to do and I wish a sign were to show me the way to solve this mess.

I checked my now wet phone and I had a missed call along with a voice message. I looked to see that is was from Billie. My heart dropped. I didn't know if he was going to tell me where he was and everything would be fine from that point on. Or he was gone for good. I pulled the phone to my ear to hear the message.

"h-hey sky.... You're probably really mad at me and not willing to even hear my voice ever again... *sigh*"

I could hear the rain fall in the background

"I just wanted to tell you that....."

That what, that what!! I checked my phone and of course it dies on me. How the fuck am I going to know what he said?!

I had to ask someone to borrow their phone, but the town looked like a ghost town. I stood there feeling like an idiot, was there something that I should have clearly done, or was all hope gone.

(short and lame chapter. im starting to give up on this story. either ill write a fresh new chapter tomorrow or add on to this one. so look out for that.)