Unanswered Wishes (Completed)

34. Break- up

34. Break- up

PSALM's PoV

After that realization, ginawa ko ang typical na ginawa ng isang broken hearted. I cried every night... rather I cried every time I think of him...

Ngumawa ako ng ngumawa hanggang sa namaga ang mata ko at halos hindi ko na ito maimulat. I seldom eat hanggang sa nabawasan ang timbang ko. [Obviously] I watched drama series and read love stories and cry and cry again when I realized we can't have a happy ending like the lucky characters have.

That was lasted for two months...until I felt like I'm tired of crying... masakit parin pero alam kong hindi na kasing sakit ng dati... Hindi ko na sinubukang i-text o tawagan sya, hindi ko narin ni-ba-browse ang facebook nya para hindi na ko masaktan...

Yeah, it's wrong to make a move of moving on without having a proper closure but this is the only way of making myself ready of another heartbreak.

I mocked myself, yeah! Another heartbreak from that guy...

That two months of coping up were a hell...

Nalaman ko galing kay Queenie na may girlfriend na pala sya... Hindi ko napigilang mag-burst out sa harap ngkapatid ng taong nanakit sakin dahil hindi ko mapigilan ang sakit na nararamdaman ko...

"I'm sorry ate, I know this is wrong but you need to know this... hindi na kasi kaya ng konsensya kong iniisip na nagpapakasaya si Kuya sa babaeng yun samantalang you're still in a relationship with Kuya..." that was she said to me. Matagal na pala nilang alam na niloloko ako ng kapatid nila pero hindi sila nagtangkang magsabi until now.

It hurts to know that Darren is having a relationship with that woman for a year. Ang galing lang noh? One year na ding hindi sya nagparamdam sakin.

Natural lang na sumama ang loob ko sa kanilang magkakapatid dahil parang niloko din nila ako katulad ng panloloko sakin ni Darren.

Queenie has begging for my forgiveness but I'm afraid I cannot yet give her that. Two months na ding hindi ako nakipag-usap sa kanilang tatlo including Terrence.

Terrence was my friend. Oo,naging mabuti syang kaibigan sakin simula nong naging kami ng kapatid nya. Pero anger empowered my whole being. I don't care if I hurt them since they didn't even care to say that their brother is a piece of crap!

Magkahalong sakit at galit ang naramdaman ko sa loob ng ilang buwan. But after that, I talked to Queenie andTerrence.

Hindi man bumalik agad ang nabuong pagkakaibigan namin pero natutuhan ko din silang mapatawad except for that man.

And I decided to talk to him...Nakapagtatakang sumang-ayon sya sa kagustuhan kong makipagkita at makipagusap sakanya pero okay na din kasi this is the right time to end what's should be ended long time ago...

Siguro naman sapat na ang paghahandang ginawa ko para harapin sya. and that day came...

"H-hi..." he greeted me like it was a normal thing to do but I didn't care a less. This treatment is fine, no!this treatment is perfect for us.

He should have kissed me but Iavoided. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba ang pagkakabasa ko sa mga mata nya pero Isaw a pain in his eyes.

Tumikhim ako bago nilapag satable ang isang malaking box. "Lahat ng binigay mo sakin nagmula nong nagkakilala tayo, nandyan na..." I said in a cool manner. Yung parang nage-explain lang ako sa isang kaibigan. Parang gusto kong palakpakan angsarili ko but this is not the time to clap myself.

He stared at me like I am an alien. "Psalm... what's the meaning of this?" he asked me like I was to blame for this crap.

Napahalakhak ako sa expression nang mukha nya. "Wow! Wow! Wow!" Pumalakpak pa ko na parang ang sinabi nya ang pinakamasayang narinig ko sa buong buhay ko.

The expression of his face is priceless. Yung expression ng mukha na parang nalugi. Yung expression ng typical boyfriend na mahal na mahal ang girlfriend nya. "Ayos ang acting natin ah... pang best actor of the decade..." Tumawa pa ko na parang ang saya saya ko.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked me like I have a mushroom in my head. "Hindi ikaw yan, Psalm..."napahawak pa sya sa magkabilang balikat ko na at niyugyog ako ng mahina.

I removed his hands and stared at him seriously. "This is me, Darren Fernandez. I'm Psalm Jane Sarrosa, standing in front of you. And I'm breaking up with you..." gusto ko na talagang bumilib sa sarili ko dahil hindi man lang pumiyok ang boses ko sa pakikipaghiwalay ko sakanya.

I know I'm okay right now but this hidden feeling was just temporary. This normal face is just a façade. But I need to remain like this... hanggang sa mawala na sya sa harapan ko ngayon,hanggang sa tuluyan na syang mawala sakin...

"Why?" he asked me like I was the one who found other someone, like I was the one who hurt him.

Ang galing galing mong umarte.Ang galing galing mong umarte na parang ikaw pa ang na-agrabyado. "Why? You're asking me why I'm breaking up with you?" I smirked. "Kasi ayoko na... I don't love you anymore...as simple as that..." taas noo kong ipinangalandakan sakanya na hindi ko na sya mahal.

I saw a pain in his eyes but I ignored it. Magaling lang kasi itong umarte kaya hindi na ko naniniwala sa kahit ano pang emosyon na makikita ko sa mga mata nya...

"P-psalm..." Tulad ngayon. Kitang kita ko kung paano pumatak ang luha sa mga mata nya. I know this is just a façade. Ngayon ko lang narealize kung gaano kagaling umarte ang Darren Fernandez na akala ko totoong tao.

I smiled bitterly. I also wanted to burst out my feelings and shout this man in front of me and ask how he managed to do this act. But I'm tired of crying... I'm tired of crying for the same person who isn't even worth a drop of my tears.

"I love you..." he whispered but I just smirked at him. "Okay... like I believe that three words..." I even gave him a sweet smile.

"Alam mo, Darren Fernandez. hwag ka nang magpanggap na parang ikaw ang naagrabyado dito dahil kung iisipin nating dalawa, hindi naman ako ang unang nang-iwan... ikaw yon!" huminga ako ng malalim. "To think you dared enter new relationship without a proper break up with me... I'm just doing you a favor..." I kissed him in cheek. "Malaya ka na...good bye, Darren Fernandez, thanks for hurting me..."