Unanswered Wishes (Completed)

35. Starting Anew

35. Starting Anew

DARREN's PoV

Isa lang naman ang hiniling ko nagmula nang mahalin ko sya... yun ang mahalin din nya ko...

Wish granted: She loved me back... but I forgot to wish that love should remain forever... Masaya na sana masaya na sana kami pareho! Kasi mahal namin ang isa't isa.

But love is not always talk about happiness... it also talked about pain and misery...

I forgot to inform myself that I'm just a man rather I'm just a human... I can also get tired... and that time came.

Nagising nalang ako isang araw na pagod na pagod na kong mahalin sya... hindi pala pwedeng ibigay mo nalang lahat para sa taong mahal mo at hindi ka na nagtira para sa sarili mo...

I felt scared and unsure at the same time. Ganito nalang ba talaga ako, am I just going to love her all my life? Sakanya nalang ba iikot ang mundo ko?

And that was the time I get scared of my future... mali mang isipin pero paano kung iiwan din nya ko balang araw kung kailan hindi ko na kayang mawala sya sa buhay ko?

Ayokong iwanan nya ko at mas lalong ayaw kong magmukhang tanga kung darating yung araw na iiwan nya ko...

So I diverted myself to something that she cannot be part of it. I need to divert myself so I could avoid myself on pain.

Duwag na kung duwag pero ayokong mangyari ang kinakatakutan ko, ang iwanan ako ng taong mahal na mahal ko...

Pero sa ginawa kong pag-iwas sataong mahal ko, nasaktan ko sya... pero I became an evil of myself.

Mas mabuti nang sya ang masaktan kesa ako... kasi kapag ako ang nasaktan, hindi ko kakayanin...

I learned to create a world that doesn't include her... but I never thought I could learn to love someone else without thinking of its consequence. That was Ara Leighton. Ara is a liberated woman who is completely opposite of her. That's how I fell in love with her. Gusto ko kasi kung ma-i-in-love ako ulit sa isang tao, gusto ko hindi katulad ng taong mahal na mahal ko. Para kapag sinaktan nya ko, hindi ganoon kasakit... hindi ganoon kahirap kalimutan sya...

I started dating Ara without thinking na mas masasaktan ito sa ginagawa ko... Hanggang sa lumilipas ang araw na nalilimutan ko na sya... at nababaling na kay Ara ang atensyon ko...

I thought that was a good thing but Ara is not her. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero parang may kulang kay Ara...she's not like her. She's not sweet and lovable. Akala ko nga okay lang yun kasi nga gusto ko hindi katulad nito si Ara. Mali pero hindi ko sila maiwasang pagkumparahin... Every time I compare the two of them, I always think that she's still better than Ara.

Pero pinagwalang bahala ko yun kasi nga nalilito na ko. Sinimulan ko nang iwasan sya para hindi ko sila mapagkumpara ni Ara. I thought it was a good thing but I learned to know Ara better. Hindi pala talaga nya ko mahal... akala ko masasaktan ako kasi yung taong pinagtuunan ko ng pansin ng isang taon, hindi ako mahal... but instead of pain, I felt relieved.

Kasi hindi ko pala talaga kayang magmahal ng ibang tao. I always knew she's the best for me but I just took her for granted,

Nung plano ko na syang balikan,saka sya biglang hindi nagparamdam sakin... she didn't text/call me like she always does. She even changed her phone number. Nasaktan ako ng hindi ko nama-open ang fb account nya. She blocked me.

Pinuntahan ko sya sa apartment nya na isang taon ko ding hindi napuntahan pero she's not living there anymore...

Tinatanong ko na din sila Kuya Terrence at Queenie but they never answer any of my questions. I know they're still angry since the way they look at me is like they wanted to clung my neck.

Queenie is not her usual self .Kung dati, she always prepare something for me like cookies, juice, coffee,etc. but she stopped being sweet and thoughtful to me.

Kuya Terrence doesn't want to talk to me too and pretend like I don't exist at all...

Blessing in disguise na din siguro na hindi namin kasama ang parents naming dahil they're busy touring around the world kung hindi magtataka sila na may silent war sa pagitan naming magkakapatid.

Akala ko, habang buhay ng ganito ang routine ng buhay ko, na hindi ako kakausapin ng dalawa kong kapatid pero one day Queenie approached me with an awkward smile saying that Psalm wanted to talk to me...

Napayakap ako sa kapatid kokahit na alam ko pang galit pa sya sakin sa pangsisigaw ko sakanya six months ago. "I missed you, Quin..." she just nodded and let go of my hug.

Kuya Terrence also talked to me but it was still feel awkward but this is far better than his treatment to me before.

Akala ko magiging okay na din ang lahat kasi nga napatawad na ko ng mga kapatid ko kahit papaano at kakausapin na din ako sa wakas ng taong mahal ko but I was wrong...

Hindi ko alam na ang kinakakatakutan kong mangyari ay mangyayari sa araw na akala ko magiging okay na kami pero...

Bumungad sakin ang maamo nyang mukha na para bang ang saya saya nyang hindi na ako parte ng buhay nya.

Nasaktan ako sa pagbabalik nya lahat ng mga bagay na binigay ko sakanya pero wala na atang mas sasakit pa sa huli nyang sinabi sakin...

The fear I felt before I take her for granted happened. And I know it was my fault...it was my entire fault.

PSALM'sPoV

Hindi ko akalain na ganito angmararamdaman ko pagkatapos ng pag-uusap namin ng ex-boyfriend ko, oo! I considered him as my ex!

Hindi ako umiyak katulad ng naiisip ko kanina habang kausap ko sya. I thought I'll burst out after that butI didn't.

Nakaramdam ako ng ginhawa. Paraakong nabunutan ng tinik sa dibdib. Siguro dahil simula sa araw na ito, hindi ko na sya kailangang isipin at kailangang mahalin...

Loving him is not obligation but it's a feeling... but loving him is like hurting myself so I need to unlove him in order not to hurt myself...

Magsisimula ako ng buhay na hindi na sya kasama... I'll start a new life without a pain inside my heart...

Maybe, letting him go is the best choice that I've ever done in my whole life...

n