Behind these blue eyes (1)

Chapter 30

Perrie
"Perrie?"
Oh no.
I turned expecting to see Jade; instead I was greeted by N-Dubz's very own Tulisa.
"Tulisa? What are you doing here?" I dropped the phone. "What are you doing here Perrie?" Her eyes held concern; I know she's worried about me, honestly I think she should be concerned about Jade. "Nothing." I avoided her question. "Talk to me muffin, you can trust me I promise." She walked over to me. "I can't. I'm scared." I grimaced at the water seeing my reflection looking back at me. "You don't have to be afraid." Tulisa said sitting next to me. "I'm not scared for me, for Jade." I breathed pulling out the box after a moment to decide wether to tell her or not, it's been eating me up. "Scared for Jade?" Tulisa eyed the box, seeing the phone. "Yes, I can't tell her about this-she thinks I'm cheating or lying to her, I'm keeping her safe like this." A tear rolled down my cheek; my heart ached like crazy, I was craving Jade already-her cuddles, her strong arms, her silly Disney movies, her biscuits, bowties, braces, her kisses, her love. I want her. Whatever I saw with Leigh-Anne or not, maybe she just...needed someone to talk to. I'd always go to Jesy while she went to Leigh. I'm an idiot.
"Perrie you have to tell her, you've got security to protect you, you have to tell her." Tulisa sighed. "NO I CAN'T!" I yelled feeling the earlier sense bottling up inside me; T jumped back from me in surprise. "Tulisa I can't tell her! I can't fucking tell anyone about this! Please you have to promise me that you won't say anything about this-please please don't say anything." I begged; my voice crumbling at the end of my sentence. Tulisa slowly crawled back to me and took me in her arms. "I fucking hate my life." I sobbed into her chest.
"Okay Perrie I won't say a word, but trust me if you tell her this will get better." T kissed my forehead hugging me. "I'm sorry T, but thanks." I wiped my eyes as best as I could. "No problem pez, but promise me you'll try and do what is right." She said letting go of me. "I'm going to go now, I have to go to the studio." She kissed my forehead. "Okay, I'll see you later." I nodded turning to the box hearing her footsteps recede.
What am I going to do? I looked down at the phone; brand new, almost like my old one. How am I going to tell Jade? This thing already threatened to hurt her, and the last thing I want is to see her hurt, rather it be me than her. I could try and tell her indirectly, maybe it would help keep her off the radar, but one thing was for sure-that needed to step up this game-they couldn't keep me away from her, I couldn't keep me away from her either, I knew what I was going to do.

Jade
"I'm so sorry Leigh, I'm a fucking idiot!" I swore hearing the door to Jesy and Leigh's flat slam shut. "Jade don't worry about it, she's stressed-you've only been back in the UK for about two days, there's been a shit-load of things going on-the interview, the limo, just wait then look for her mkay?" Leigh-Anne rose to hug me. "I know, but sometimes she can worry too much, I love her too much to hurt her." I sighed. "I know, that's why you can't sit around and wait for her." Leigh kissed my forehead. "Thank you Leigh." I returned her hug.
"Anytime Jadey." She chuckled while I walked back inside changing into my onesie and brown boots walking back to my flat.
"Perrie? It's me, I'm sorry-but it wasn't what it looked like, please give me a chance to explain." I opened the door throwing down my keys and trying to hear Perrie. I was still slightly mad to be honest but I had to explain. She couldn't start hiding things from me-whatever it was she just couldn't do that to me, I'm her girlfriend for crying out loud.
"Perrie? Answer me please?" I asked calling out into the house; no answer. "Perrie please?" What if she's doing something to herself? What if she hates me? "Perrie please!" I called louder; I really need her-she's my whole world now. I took out my phone desperately dialing her number.
*beep*
"-the number you dialed has been disconnected from its server please try your call again." An automatic voice answered me instead of Perrie's strong one. "Fuck it Perrie!" I threw my phone down on the couch sitting down and curling up into a ball thinking of places that she could be. She could be at Nando's, the pool, management, or she-OH. I mentally facepalmed-I knew where she was.
I stood throwing on a pair of jeans and a v-neck with a beanie and grabbed my phone on the way out.
I avoided the cameras making me way towards the familiar and quiet park. Perrie had told me about this place when we first moved in together.