My soldier in Neverland (Jack Barakat)

Chapter 30

Brook

"Im scared." I hold Jacks had as tight as I possibly can. The hospital gown barely sits on my shoulders correctly. We sit in chairs behind a window, beyond the window is a loud machine that is now turning on all different colored lights.

"Your fine, Im sure nothing will show." He doesn't look at me in the eyes anymore, he hasn't done so in two weeks. I straighted up in the chair and push out my now protruding collar bone into place. I don't get why he won't look at me its not like my liver has failed and I became a pale yellow. I look over my features in the reflection of the window. The doctor comes in and sits in a black rolling chair.

"You may go in there and nurse inside will help you." She pints to the metal door. I'm so used to the doctors pushing me in a wheel chair, so it felt good to get up and stretch my legs. I hold my gown closed behind me as I walk in.

"Hi honey!" a strong southern accent speaks up from behind the big white tube. I greet her and she explains to me what to do while I'm being examined; which is a whole lot of nothing.

The tube is so boring. I have to be still and I can't ask questions, I planed to use that time to think but I didn't get very far. my bones hurt from laying on the stone like bed. the only thing I could think about was getting out of there. soon it felt like the whole thing was starting to contract. The southern woman squeezed my big toe and I shot up from my torturous position and hit my head.

"Oh Honey, you hit your head!" she rushes me out and looks under my head. "I'm sure your fine!" she waves it off.

I walk into the dark room behind the window. Jack has the weight of his head in his hand, his back is moving up and down in rhythm with his quieted sobs.

A tingle of cold starts from my toes and goes all the way to the ends of my hair. "Where?" I look through my the doctors eyes. She scoots out of the way so I can see the multiple screens. Little dark spots show up all inside my chest and in my mid section.

Jack

I watch as the outline of Brooks body loads on the screen. I notice the expression change on the doctors face.

"What?" I ask confused.

"I have to go talk to her other doctor, Ill be right back." The doctor hurries out of the run with a bewildered look on her face. I make sure she is gone then I sit in her chair and look closer at the screen. A ton of dark spots are all over and I understand now. Her cancer has spread faster than we could have imagined. I stare at the screen scilently, I look at her body shape and her brain an heart. All those things will be waisted before she could even use them. The doctor comes back in with another colleague. They ask if I am okay. I realise that I am crying onto all of her papers so I go to the seat that I was originally sitting in. everything felt like it was colapsing and getting smaller, so I put my hands over my eyes so I don't have to see everything come down around me. Soon I hear the door squeak open I look up so I can see her happy face once more, but I am disapointed to come to the realisation that she hasn't been happy for weeks. Brook sits down with the doctor I see her staring at the screen not soaking in the information that the astonished doctor has to say. Suddenly she is uninterested in the gohstly picture of herself.

"Take me home." She stands up grinding her teeth, then pushes with all the strength she can. I have to run after her angry bare foot padding. I don't know what is going through her head at the moment  but everyone is staring at her. I come up behind her and quickly hold her gown closed in the back. 

"Okay I will, we just need to sign you out and get-" I am cut off before I can get the rest out.

"No I don't want to stay here one more second!" She starts to run furiously twoards the doors. The nurses look startled and get the sleeping security gaurd up so he can catch her. 

Brook.

"Please just let me leave." At the end of the sentence I allow myself to sob for the first time in the hospital. The security guard puts me in a body lock. I open my blurry eyes to see Jack slupped over in the hall that I just escaped from. A sharp pain is in my arm at an instant. I thought that my heart was giving out from the lump that sits on top of it, sufficating it. 

I have a dream, the same dream with my little daughter and my beautiful big belly, filled with another beautiful baby that will have Jack's dark hair and long lashes, and a wonderfull life ahead of him. Then when Jack and the band is about to leave everyone starts to seize up and drop like flies. I run to my daughter, I never even knew her name but she is gone now and I run to Jack to see if I can do anything. He still has time when get to him. His hand touches my ballooned belly and I put my hand ontop of his letting our wedding rings match up. He becomes pale and I sever out hold. Getting up to call for an ambulance my stomach cramps and I go back down. Over what seems like days I hold Jacks foot and bleed out slowly. We all slipped away.

"Brook please stop." Jack whispers in my ear.

"Jack please take me home." I don't tell him what has happend t o our future, I just can't stand the rough sheets that have strapped me to the sponge like bed.

"I already signed you out, lets go Tink." I feel him undo the chains and then scoop me into his warm arms that have angry blood courseing through them. I expect him to put me in a chair but soon I feel the breeze blow on my face and hands. 

"Did you dress me?" I don't open my eyes because it feels like they are supperglued together. 

"Yes." The water that my eyes produce loosens the supperglue and I can now open them.

" Whats wrong?" He has a very concerned face. 

"You saw me naked?" I ask.

"Yeah." He seems very confused. I don't answer him though. I sit in the front of the car letting my head swim.  

"You missed the exit." I point out the window to the green sign.

"I thought you wanted to go home?" He slows down to get onto anotherside road. 

"That is my home." I close my eyes now that he knows where to go. 

When we get to the door it is opened by someone on the inside, Jess. They wouldn't let her in the hospital because of her pregnancy. Her belly reminds me of my dream and I have to place my hand on it just to make sure she was really still pregnant. She pulls me into a  hug and helps me up the steps to the room that I will probably die in.