My soldier in Neverland (Jack Barakat)

Chapter 31

Brook

It has been a few days since I got home and I have gotten used to the people with swollen red eyes that circulate in coming to see me. Jack sits in a lazyboy next to the bed checking his phone before he goes to bed.

"You can sleep in the bed." I take my mask off that kelly brought me, its attached to an airtank.

"No it's okay." I watch as the lights that dance on his face, then suddenly shut off as he turns away from me and puts the blanket over his head.

I stay up most of the night just watching Jack toss and turn, I memorize his breathing pattern and try to mimick it, I fail and go into a caughing trip which Jack wakes up and helps me with. That was one of the first times he has touched me in a week. His hands were so rough and his warmth makes me think of how cold I am. 

I wake up in a start, I text Jess and I hear her rumble up the steps. "Whats wrong?!" She is breathless as she checks all the tubes that are connected to the air tank. 

"Nothing. I am asking you for a favor." She grabs the money out of my suitcase and helps me with the tank cart. Walking down the steps everyone that was pretending to be busy hurried to the steps. 

"Where are you going?" I hear Alex ask. Suddenly the guitar from the spare bedroom stops and  the door is opend a crack, Jack doesn't come out but he listens. 

"My feet hurt, we are going to the strip mall." I take multiple mini breaths while trying to answer, nobody asks anything else.

I feel very dizzy on the way to the strip mall. The parlor wraps me in its art covered walls, the man in the front looks very concerned and tries to convince me to take a seat. 

"I want to see the designs that you have done before." I demand he brings a scrape book to the waiting area. I sit on the couch that makes me look miniscule, Jess decides that the man has done an amazing job with the tattoos that he has made. "Give me the money." Jess hands me the wad that I have been saving for a very long time. Inside the crincled wad was a pink slip of paper that was for a fake detention that my teacher set up to make me look like a 'normal' highschooler. " I want that." My breathing is getting heavier as my heart rate goes up. "Please." The man reschedules the person that was suppost to have a tattoo retouched so that I can get mine done. 

"You sure you want to do this man?" The tattoo gun has the black ink loaded in it and it wavers over my skin. 

"Yes." I feel like I am going to pass out and I am not at all nervous. 

"Alright lets do this." I hear the gun start and I feel it touch my skin but it doesn't feel bad.

I have lost track of the hours but the guy makes the last swipe of his paper towels up by my chest.  

"Lets get this taped up. Hey are you okay man, don't pass out on me." 

"Ill be fine, Im just cold." I unclench my hand from Jess's.

"OKay, Im going to get a blanket from the store across the street, be right back." She runs out of the store.

"How much?" I ask.

"Well if you look up there it says wusses have to pay, you didn't so much as flinch so its on the house man. Can I ask?" The man does look frightend.

"I have cancer that is spreading and I am going to die, my boyfriend won't even look at me anymore. I don't have a future with him but I want to be burried as his." I see him swipe his eyes a few times.

"I can tell you that he is a coward for not looking at you anymore, your a beautiful strong woman. Can I have your name to put on the wall?" I look at the chalkboard of the 'bravest' and roll my eyes. 

"Im not that brave I just have a ton of painkillers going right now." I lift my arm for him to bandage.

"Not talking about the tattoo." I tell him my name and leave my cash on the keyboard of his computer. 

I am quietly covered up in the car. "Can I?" My hand hovers over Jess's inflated belly. 

"Yes." I feel like every time I ask her a question she is going to burst into tears.

Her belly is squishy and her baby response to me quickly by kicking up against my hand. The baby never stoped until we pulled up into the gravel driveway.