When love is found it is cherished, appreciated, shared, and expressed constantly. But what happens when you're only given a certain amount of time to fulfill it?
Something told me to just walk by his room and leave him alone. I should've done just that.
"I still don' unda'stand why tha' fuck you got me hea'." He scoffed as I finished setting up the machine.
"It will all make sense. Just cooperate with me please?" I asked nicely.
"Fuck cooperation'! You fuckin' kidnappin' me and shit! Help!" He yelled out. I jumped from my seat and ran to where he laid on the exam table. I quickly placed my hand over his mouth.
"Will you shut up! Nobody else wants to help you and I'm trying okay? Something else is wrong with you, something serious and I'm trying too figure it out. You say the word and I'll leave you alone and let you die in this hospital." I finally said, looking him in the eyes.
"Die?" He mumbled.
"Yes. At the rate you're going, that's what's likely. So which is it?" I stood up, crossing my arms and shifting my weight to one hip.
He licked his lips and shook his head.
"Honestly, death don't sound too bad." He admitted, biting his bottom lip.
My eyes widened from his answer and I sighed.
"Well I'm not gonna let you die."
"You'on even kno' me lady."
"I don't have to know someone to help them."
He sighed and laid back down. "Jus' get did shit ova' with." He said rudely, causing me to roll my eyes. I continued setting up the machine and helped him onto the table.
"You're going to go inside of this machine, it's a tight space so it may be uncomfortable but it's only for a few minutes okay?"
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He nodded, seeming unbothered by any of this.
"You need to take your gown off."
He stood up, standing in front of me. He untied the back of his gown and it dropped.
I kept my eyes glued to his to keep from looking down. He laid back on the table and I quickly grabbed the small white sheet, covering below his waist. I now studied the art that was on his chest. He had an A right on his neck and what looked like a woman on his chest. I cleared my throat and looked away before walking over to all of the screens.
I pressed the button and watched as it slowly moved. He closed his eyes and took hesitant breathes as he went through.
15 minutes later, the test was finished. I helped him back into his hospital bed and hooked his IV back in.
"Mr. Alsina I just gave you a super expensive test for free. This means you can't speak of this to anyone. Or I'm fired and you're back at square one."
"Elijah." He said lowly before coughing.
"Huh?"
"My name is Elijah." His mouth raised as if he wanted to smile but he quickly lowered it.
"O-okay. Well I'm gonna find out what's wrong with you okay Elijah?"
"Mhm."
I rolled him back to his hospital room, making sure everything was how I left it. It was almost midnight and the last shift workers were making their way into the building. I closed his door and walked towards the elevator. Once in the parking lot, I hurried to my car and drove all the way home in silence.
Walking in, I saw Arima watching TV on the couch.
"Mi where have you been?" She said, sitting her bag of chips down.
"I decided to study at work for a few hours. Lost track of time."
She smacked her teeth. "You always study here. Don't scare me like that! You got off damnear 2 hours ago and wouldn't answer your phone."
I finally pulled my phone out of my pocket and indeed I had 7 missed calls from her.
"I'm sorry Ari, I really am."
"This studying shit is controlling your life, Mi." She rolled her eyes, walking over to the kitchen.
"I'm sorry that I want to be successful."
"You're gonna kill yourself before you're able to ever be successful!" She yelled, causing me to step back. I knew what she was referring to.
"Arima I thought we were past that? I'm fine now."
"How am I suppose to know that? We barely talk anymore Milan! You're always studying or at work! I just, I miss my bestfriend!"
I sighed walking over and hugging her. "You're right. I'm sorry." She continued crying and I sighed, rubbing her back.
"Y-you're all I have. You and mommy. Yall are my family. I don't want to lose you Milan."
Arima never had a real family. She always moved from foster home to foster home. Eventually my mother took her in, so we were the only family she ever had.
"You won't." I assured her. "I'm off tommorow. We can watch movies or go shopping? Whatever you want." I smiled and she did the same. She nodded and wiped her tears.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry."
"It's okay, I get it. I'm gonna go shower and we can chill or something."
"Ok."
I gave her one last smile before walking to my room. I stripped my clothes and turned on my beats pill to the Kanye station on Pandora. I turned on my shower as Flashing Lights began to play.
Looking in the mirror and I smiled at my body. It took me a few years, but I finally loved my body, every inch of it. Although it seemed as if nobody else did. I always got complemented, but nobody left out the fact that I was dark skin.
"You're pretty for a darkskin."
"Not bad for a darkskin."
"Maybe if I liked darkskins."
Maybe one day I'll find somebody that appreciates me and my skin color. Until then, I love myself enough to fill that void.
I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water relax my muscles. I actually was happy that I was off tommorow. The past two weeks have left me super exhausted, and spending time with Arima was much needed.
My mind drifted to different parts of my day as I lathered my wash cloth with dove soap. I thought about Marie and how she tried to come for me.
Regardless of why I'm there I deserve respect and I will get that.
Elijah now enters my mind. To hear someone consider death as an option makes me cringe. I'd choose life over death any day. But I guess everybody has their own personal struggles that they deal with.
Time passes and my whole bathroom is fogged up. I finally step out and dry off, slipping on some spandex shorts and a Nike sports bra. I wrap my hair and put on my silk scarf and bonnet before joining Arima in the living room.
"What are we watching?" I ask, going into the kitchen to get out a brand new carton of ice cream.
"Mean Girls." She smiled as I handed her a spoon.
I plopped down on the couch and smiled to myself.
Life was good.
*******
Thoughts on Arima's breakdown?
Why did Milan help Elijah? Will it backfire?
And yeah...August's name is Elijah in this book because....well that's how I want it lol
