The Crap Hetalia Book

Snapped Italy

Okay, this is my first attempt at doing anything like this so it's probably not going to be very good. Please tell me if it's okay :)

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"Italy, Italy stop" Germany puts his head in his hands and sighs. "Okay, that's enough, please just stop, it's painful just to watch you."

I frown. "What's wrong Germany?"

"It doesn't matter" he says, looking at Japan and I over his hands. "Training finished for today."

"What was all that about?" Japan asks me when we were out of hearing.

"I don't know" I say, glaring at the floor.

Pathetic

I stare at Japan. He's looking forwards, frowning slightly, deep in thought.

Pathetic

It definitely wasn't him, his lips never moved.

Stupid, idiot, pathetic, worthless

"Did you say something?" I ask. He stares at me for a second and then shakes his head.

He lies

And then I decide.

"I'll be back in a minute" I say quietly and run off, locking the door to the bathroom behind me.

He's right. I'm pathetic, worthless, stupid, idiot. There's no point to my existence apart from to be a burden to everyone.

"That's right" my reflection grins at me and leans forwards. It's done this before, tried to talk to me and I've never been swayed. "But maybe I can help you."

I go to shake my head and then hesitate. I wouldn't be pathetic. I wouldn't be worthless. I wouldn't be stupid or an idiot. I wouldn't be a burden.

I nod and the reflection grins wider. It's hand comes through the glass. "Deal?" I shake the hand.

"Italy?"

Germany is outside. The mirror seems as though it's cracking and splintering. My reflection appears in some sort of ghost form in front of me and then vanishes. I feel faint and fall into the side of the bath, creating a huge crash.

"Italy? Are you alright? I'm coming in."

I go to call out to him not to, it'll be okay but something inside me doesn't want to.

The door breaks and Germany stands there looking... scared?

"Are you alright? What was that crash?" he demands.

"It's okay Doitsu" I say, standing up unsteadily. "I just tripped, that's all."

He sighs. "Good. Now, I'll go make us something to eat."

An idea comes to my mind. "Oh, oh, I'll make us some pasta" I cry and run out of the door, throwing my arms out behind me as I go. Yes, I'll make them some pasta.

I get out the ingredients: salt, water, flour, eggs, milk, butter...

Japan comes in. "Are you sure you're okay Itary?" he asks.

I nod and pick up a knife to cut up the butter. "Hey, you can help me if you want?"

For a second, he looks shocked. "Okay."

We make the pasta, put it in a pot and then I go and get ingredients for the sauce.

"What do we need?" Japan looks in the fridge. "Anything from here?"

"There is one ingredient that we need" I say, grinning madly into the back of a cupboard. I pick up a knife from a block, close the cupboard and wander over.

"What?" Japan turns to me a second too late. I place the knife behind his neck and slice it open, watching in delight as blood sprays the fridge.

"Blood" I whisper and then spin on one foot, the bloodied knife held close to my face. "Oh, it's fantastic isn't it? I just love the stuff." I lick the knife carefully, the metallic liquid running over my tongue. It feels good. I kneel down beside his body and slowly start to cut it up, savouring every squish as the knife goes into the flesh and collect the blood into a bowl. Then, I open the back door and leave the body in a neglected corner of the garden.

"Italy, have you seen Japan?" Germany comes into the kitchen and does a double take. "What on Earth happened here? Italy are you okay? Where's Japan?"

"Th... the person he... he attacked us a... a... and Japan went outside a... and he hasn't come back in yet" I stutter as innocently as possible.

Germany pales and throws open the door. "Japan?" he shouts and while his back is turned, I stab the knife, still in my hand, through his head.

"Oops, looks like the person got in" I giggle, collecting his blood into a different bowl. I leave his body where it is and continue making pasta, with a mixture of the blood and tomato paste to thicken it up. An improvement I would say. As I go to get a onion out of one of the drawers, I pass the calendar and look up.

Shoot. China's visiting today.

Oh well, another opportunity I'd say.

I laugh to myself, hide Germany's body with Japan's and continue making the sauce. My top is covered in blood so I take it off and exchange it for another one. As I'm dumping it in the washing machine, the doorbell rings and China walks in. He never really waits for people to open the door for him, he just walks in.

"Hey Italy" China grins. "You okay?"

Why is everyone asking me if I'm okay today?

I nod. "Just making pasta."

"Again" he rolls his eyes. "Where're Japan and Germany? Usually one of them is yelling at me before I open the door."

"They've just gone out" I lie. "Literally just this second. I was going to go to but had already started my pasta and couldn't leave it. I'm pretty sure they didn't forget. Maybe they just got the time wrong?"

"Probably" China nods and sits down at the table.

"Hey, could you help me?" I ask, tucking a new knife under my sleeve.

"Yeah sure, what do you need helping with?"

I turn round and throw the knife in between his eyes. "I just need a little more blood for this. Thank you for being a donor."

Suddenly the trousers and top I'm in don't feel right. They feel to tight and restricting so I go up to my room and search through my collection of suits. None of them are right and then, at the back, is a brown one.

Perfect. I put it on and find a hat tucked up one of the sleeves so go back into the bathroom to put it on properly. I put it on at an angle and grin at my reflection, hair darker, eyes red.

"Hello Italy" I say