The Crap Hetalia Book

Imagine...

Imagine... the Hetalia characters in a water fight...

Spain hugged his gun to his chest and bit his lip. The whole situation was so generally hilarious and stupid that he just couldn't help feeling giddy. Besides that, there was a faint bit of fear racking through him. He spluttered, trying to keep back his laughter.

"Shh" Romano slapped his hand over his mouth, glaring and pressing a finger to his lips. They were both half drenched already. Somewhere behind the rock they had ducked behind, there was a shout of 'get off me you bloody frog' and 'dude shut up'. Clearly France, America, Canada and England weren't doing a good job of hiding.

They'd been split in half, Allies vs Axis, but Spain, the idiot had missed China and hit Prussia. Now, the albino wanted their guts.

Romano peered round the rock. Prussia had his back to them and was busy shooting at France, who was screaming. They would probably be safe for a little bit longer. Why was he so bothered about this? It was just a water fight. Competitive he guessed. He shuffled round on the ledge of rock they were sitting on to get a better view and slipped, falling face forwards into the water. Spain cursed silently and yanked him up, glancing at Prussia.

His red eyes found them and he grinned, charging forwards. "You're going down Spamano" he screamed, dipping his gun into the water to reload it.

"Run" Romano screamed, shoving Spain and racing away through the water. Out of the other side of the rock, the collided with Veneziano, who cried out and toppled backwards. "Run fratello."

Germany and Japan were busy shooting at the Allies, who didn't really seem to be doing very well, until America appeared out of no where with a water canon, and Canada with a wheelbarrow full of water balloons.

Prussia charged out from behind the rock, still screaming insults at them in a mixture of German and English. He pointed his gun at them and fired, hitting Spain in the back of the head.

"I'm hit" Spain cried, collapsing. "Go Romano, leave me, I can't go on."

"Come on you bastard, it's only water" Romano snapped, aware of Prussia re aiming. He ducked as Prussia fired, barely missing him. "On second thoughts, you're on your own."

"What?" Spain scrambled to his feet and charged after him. "You weren't meant to leave me behind Romano."

"Shut up you jerk bastard and... you dropped your gun? What'd you drop your gun for you bastard?"

Spain glanced down at his hands as though only just noticing that they were empty. "Oh yeah."

"Idiota" Romano hissed. A huge splat of wet hit the back of his neck with such force that he fell forwards. "Spugh..."

He pushed himself out of the water, peering through a film of water that dripped from his hair and glared at Prussia, who laughed, clutching at his sides.

"Prussia, stop beating up your comrades and help us" Germany snapped as Japan picked up an unexploded water bomb and threw it at France, who screamed as it made his hair wet.

Prussia grinned and handed Spain his gun. Veneziano charged up from behind them with a battle cry of 'pppppaaassssttttaaaa' and fired a constant stream of water at Canada, who stepped to the side, giving England a face full of water.

"Canada" he spluttered.

"So now you remember me" Canada smirked, arming himself with some water bombs and lobbing them at Veneziano, who fell backwards, his battle cry vanishing.

America laughed out loud and stood on his water canon. "Fire dudes."

England rolled his eyes and pressed a button, sending out water bomb, after water bomb. Germany got three in the face before collapsing and Japan shot another apart with his gun. Somewhere behind him, Romano could hear Seborga shouting about something or other. What ever. He didn't really care at the moment. At the moment, he only cared about...

A water bomb hit him in the face and he whipped round, glaring. Canada shrugged and went to throw another at him.

"That's it" he hissed, taking Spain's gun. There hadn't been enough for one each, the Axis grabbing most of the guns and leaving the Allies with only four. That was when they'd brought out the canons and bombs.

"Veneziano? Romano" Seborga shrieked.

"What?" Romano shouted back, shooting Canada in the face.

"Helurgh"

Romano handed Spain back his gun and turned to find Seborga crouched down, covering his head and Russia and China standing either side of him, just shooting. Veneziano charged back to save him, followed by Romano, having stolen Japan's gun when he dropped it after being hit again. Both Russia and China had coats on, and weren't the slightest bit wet at all. What the hell was wrong with that? The whole point of a water fight was to get wet. Who's idea had this been anyway?

Veneziano shot Russia in the face, starting up his battle cry again and then moved across to hit China, hitting Seborga in the process.

"Well done you idiot" Romano snapped. "You have to go and hit the person we're trying to save from being hit."

Veneziano shrugged and helped Seborga up. It made both of them laugh a little, their little brother being taller than them, Romano being the smallest of all three, and the oldest. He wasn't sure he liked it.

"Italy brothers back into action" Veneziano yelled. Romano rolled his eyes, but didn't object.

So what did you think? It was just something I thought of. I hope it's okay :D