The Crap Hetalia Book

I'm not what you think

"Dude." I glance across the table at Alfred, who isn't looking my way, but staring at Mathew who sits next to me in the cafeteria. "What is it with you and maple syrup? You put it on everything. EVERYTHING."

I look down at Mathew's plate, to see his meal, pizza and chips curtesy of Alfred, covered in the stuff.

Mathew blinks. "I... I don't know it's just... everything tastes nicer with it on."

I laugh and pull him into a hug. "You're so adorable Mathieu."

Opposite me, Arthur scoffs. "And you're such a perv. Leave the poor chap alone for a change why don't you?"

A huge, iron fist slams into my chest and it takes all I have not to wither away in front of him. Instead, I smirk. "Says you, nation who's eyebrows have never seen a razor."

"Leave my eyebrows out of this" Arthur rolls his eyes and goes back to eating. He doesn't know how much it hurts. Every time someone calls me a pervert. Every time I get called a pedophile, a rapist, it hurts. It hurts so much.

They're only telling you the truth

Shut up. I drop my arms from around Mathew and go back to eating as normally as possible, the food suddenly dry and tasteless. Alfred and Mathew continue talking like nothing happened. Nothing did happen to them. It wouldn't effect them anyway.

They don't care. No one cares about you

Shut up. It's there again. I try and ignore it but it comes back every time.

Arthur glances at his watch. "We should get back to the room. It restarts in a few minutes."

We stand up and walk down the corridor. I don't speak, just let them do the talking, nodding when ever one of them looks at me. Which they rarely do. Ludwig is pacing at the front as we walk into the conference room, the rest of the nations already there, early as normal. The meeting slowly rolls out, ideas being thrown across the room and then tossed back. I sit silently, frowning slightly. There's nothing I want to say. No idea of mine that needs to be said. It's all just garbage anyway.

Yes, that's right. Garbage, a bit like you then? Maybe it's be easier for everyone if...

Non. Fermer la bouche.

You didn't let me finish.

That's because I don't want to listen to anything you have to say.

"That's rude"

I look up, startled to find Arthur glaring at me.

"You couldn't have been a little more blunt there could you?"

I said that out loud?

"Pardon Angleterre. I spoke before I thought."

"Yeah, well maybe it'd be better if you didn't speak at all" he mutters angrily, and then turns to shout at Alfred for eating in the meeting.

He's right. You should be shut up. Tell me to fermer la bouche all you want, but it's you who need to.

It's right I guess. I glance up at the clock on the wall. It's alright. Only ten minutes left. Ten minutes left of this hell. Ten minutes technically alone with my thoughts. Ten minutes left until I can get back and be alone and... and...

"France"

I jump and look up. Everyone is staring at me, Ludwig has his hands slammed on the table and a furious face plastered on in purple.

"Were you even listening to me?"

"Je suis desole Allemand" I say apologetically. "I wasn't listening."

Ludwig groans. "I asked your opinion on..."

"Oh don't ask him" Arthur says, sitting back in his chair and folding his arms. "He'll probably just say something perverted."

The iron fist is back.

But he's right, as usual. Every thing he says about you, it's right. You are perverted, you are a rapist, you are...

Shut up, shut up, shut up.

I glare at him and then glance around the room. It's not his comment that hurts the most, it's the symmetrical nods of agreement that flow on everyone. I bite my lip, blinking back the tears and shrug.

"If my opinion doesn't matter to you then what's the point in me saying it?"

Someone sighs. I look into my pocket out of the corner of my eye. There is a full packet of paracetamol in case of a headache, which happen frequently. I give up.

Ludwig sighs and stacks his papers up. "This meeting is over. The next one..."

I zone out and start putting stuff away. I won't go back to my hotel room. I'll get in my care and drive. I'll just drive, and drive until I don't know where I am, and then...

Everyone is talking and I slip out of the room, unseen. As I start to reverse out of my parking space, Mathew races out of the building, searching frantically and then staring at the car. For a second, I consider stopping and seeing what he wants, but whatever it is, Alfred or Arthur can help him with it. They'd do a better job than me anyway.

I drive. Not too fast that I'd cause suspicion, but fast enough to get away, to get to a quiet place. None of them really care, so what does it matter if I go missing?

An hour later, I pull the car off the road and stop next to a hedge row. Before I know what I'm doing, the pills are out, a couple in my hand and I swallow.

Are you trying to get away with this? You're just pathetic. Too pathetic to even rid the world of yourself.

"Non. Je ne suis pas" I mutter, popping out the rest of them and swallowing.

I sit back in the seat and stare out of the front window at the leaves. It's a pretty final sight I guess. In the middle of the hedge is a single, forlorn rose, swaying gently in the wind. I smile sadly and feel a single tear slide down my face.

"Au revoir" I sigh. "I'm not what you think am I."

I've just found out that the computers at school haven't actually blocked Wattpad (yay) so updates might be more frequent? At any rate, they'll come at weird times :D