The Crap Hetalia Book

Death Theories - Prussia

The sound of gunfire accompanied Gilbert to the trench and he threw himself into it, ignoring the rain and the mud.

"Thank God you survived that" the general said, coming up behind him.

"Yeah?" Gilbert wiped sweat off his brow with a dirty sleeve. "Everyone's obviously happy about me surviving. Where are the others?"

The general flinched. "You're the only one left."

Gilbert stared at him. "But... but we're winning. There's no way we can fall. Germany is the strongest country, we can't be beaten by this British scum."

The general sighed. "Well... we can. But we can also beat them. Are you..."

"Ready to go out again?" Gilbert grinned and stood up. "I was waiting for you to ask. The awesome me is always ready to go out again and kill some ficken British."

"Language" the general snarled and turned around. "If you're ready then that's fine, but just be warned you may not survive this one."

"I survive everything" Gilbert scoffed. "I am ze awesome Gilbert. I can't die."

The general grabbed his shirt and lifted him off his feet. "That attitude is going to get you killed idiot." He sighed and dropped him. "The troops are coming together three miles south. We'll move you out there in the morning. We're sending you over the top at noon. Don't sleep in."

"Why would I?" Gilbert grinned.

"You always do" the general stomped off through the mud, leaving Gilbert behind.

"The whole regiment?" he asked the mud. "That's a lot of people."

He started walking away when he heard a shell explosion. Limbs went flying, some heads and some full people, but not many. Dirt splattered everywhere. Gilbert stared at it for a second and glanced upwards. It was dark, the rain clouds still gathered. He couldn't see anything. Not that it mattered.

"Get to the dug outs" someone shouted from ahead.

"I am ze awesome Gilbert. I don't hide" he hissed, but charged towards the source of the shout anyway. Another shell exploded nearby, sending clumps of mud splattering over his back. He cursed and tripped over his feet on the slippery ground. Slowly, he got to his feet again and looked up. An orange tip appeared in the clouds above and he blinked. "What?"

But he didn't get time to contemplate it, or to run as the bomb hit the ground not two inches from him and exploded.

*****

Gilbert blinked, leapt up and started running. "It's going to kill me" he screamed and then stopped. He was in a field, not a muddy place with rain... where was the place? He sighed and sat down again. What ever it was, it had been going to kill him, and he'd escaped.

"Because that's what ze awesome Prussia does" he said and then frowned. Prussia? That wasn't what he'd meant to say. He'd meant to say Gil... Gil... he couldn't remember it. Oh well. Prussia sounded like a fitting name for an awesome person.

He stood up, grinned and strode away over the grass.

"Hey" He froze and turned round to see a man with long, blonde hair coming towards him over the field. "Who're you?"

"I am ze awesome Prussia" he shouted, only a little bit swayed by the man. If anything, he just made him laugh with his long, girl's hair and those weird blue eyes. The sign of a truly awesome person was red eyes. Did he still have red eyes? He was shorter than before, he knew that but didn't want to dwell on it. He'd been short before, so being shorter now was worse.

"Figures" the man said, rolling his eyes. "How long have you been awake?"

Prussia blinked at him. How did he know?

The man smiled weakly as he read his mind. "I know you're position. You've just woken up with no memory of how you got here or any of your life before right?"

"No" Prussia laughed. "I remember bits of my life before. I was fighting in the mud and the rain and my name began with Gil."

"Intriguing" the man nodded. "I'm Germania."

He looked up at Germania and his lips twitched up into a bigger smile. He still looked like a girl. Even his name sounded like a girl's. "Okay" he managed to squeak, not laughing.

Germania frowned and sighed. "Do you know who you are?"

"A country... wait... am I?" Prussia frowned at him as though he was trying to identify an alien specimen. "Am I?"

"Yes" Germania said bluntly. "I can help you."

Now Prussia did laugh. "Ze awesome me doesn't need help."

Germania hissed out a sigh and turned away. "Fine, but you've heard my offer." He started to walk away.

Prussia watched him go and then stood up and charged after him. "Wait."