The Crap Hetalia Book

Hetalia Orphanage Part 4

There was a huge clanging noise from downstairs and Mathias jumped up, running to the stairs. They had retreated to his room, him, Tino and Berwald being the only three without siblings in the building and so the only three with own rooms. Mathias jumped up and punched the air.

"What's that?" Emil asked, gently stroking Mr Puffin's feathers.

"Huh?" Mathias stared at him for a second. "Oh yeah, it's the dinner bell thing. The house is so big and there are so many of us it took ages to call us for dinner. It was easier to just have a loud bell."

"It's late today" Tino said, standing up.

There was a thundering of feet as those upstairs flocked down the stairs and vanished into the dining room. It was huge, with a table that one might find at a king's banquet hundreds of years ago. Plates of different food scattered the middle of the table and the others were just grabbing whatever they could.

"Sit down or you might loose out" Mathias threw himself into one of the nearest chairs with space either side and gestured for them to sit.

The table got full really quick, and the centre plates emptied almost faster.

"So, where do you come from?"

Lukas looked down the table to the source of the voice. The boy who had been smoking and drinking in the corner of the kitchen before was sat in between two others who were glaring at each other, and another two either side of them, also glaring at each other. All five of them had unbelievably large eyebrows.

"Oh yeah, sorry, I'm Allistor Kirkland. These are my twat brothers Ronan, Dylan, Arthur and Peter" he pointed to each brother in turn.

Lukas nodded. "Um... well... I was born in Norway, Emil in Iceland, but shortly after we moved to Britain... to Manchester."

"You don't have much of an accent" one of the boys, Ronan, sitting alongside Allistor said, stopping glaring at his brother, Dylan, and looking up.

"I guess not" Lukas said, blinking. He'd never really thought of himself as having an accent, but then again, it was what he was used to so of course he wouldn't notice it.

"It's funny really, ve all seem to have been born in completely different countries and zen come to England." A boy on the opposite side of the table said. He sat next to Ludwig, staring round the table with blood red eyes. "I'm pretty sure it's just coincidence, but you clearly all came here to know ze awesome me."

"Idiot, some of us were actually born here" Arthur snapped from the other end of the table. "Just because you toured Germany first before coming here, Gilbert" he spat the last word like it was a bad taste in his mouth.

"And anyway, not all of us really want to know you, aru." The boy with the ponytail who had looked like he was threatening to hit someone with a wok said, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms.

"Zat's going a bit too far Yao" Ludwig said, swallowing a mouthful of food. "Ve don't need to get angry today."

"Not my fault, aru" Yao said.

"Yes it is" the boy who he'd been trying to hit said. He had short, black hair, dull brown eyes and seemed to be lacking any form of expression. "Everything is your faurt."

"See, even Keeks says it is" Alfred shouted, sitting down.

"Do you have any other settings apart from deafening?" Arthur snapped at him.

"Dude, chill out would you?" Alfred shrugged. "Heroes have to be loud don't they?"

"Damn burger bastard" the taller boy with the tomatoes muttered grumpily. The smaller one who had clearly stolen them off him was sitting next to the one who had been trying to break them up, silently laughing. All three of them had a weird curl of some kind that stuck out from their heads.

"Ve~ don't be so harsh on Alfred fratello" the middle one said.

"Just deal with it" the smaller one shrugged and crammed a forkful of pasta into his mouth.

"Feliciano, Sebastian, I swear if you two don't shut up, I'm going to beat the crap outta one of you" the other hissed, glaring down into his food.

"You're the one loosing your temper all of today Lovino" Sebastian, the smaller one, said, jabbing his fork at him. "Just because you're in a bad mood today doesn't mean you have to beat the crap outta us."

"Teaching your little brother bad words Lovi?" Mathias shook his head. "Honestly, what are we going to do with you?"

"Shut up you damn alcoholic bastard" Lovino screamed, flicking his pasta across the table at him.

"Ve~ don't waste pasta" Feliciano cried, covering his eyes. "Please don't."

"Everybody is a bastard to him" Tino said, laughing as everyone starting shouting at each other.

Lukas nodded and went back to his food, glancing at Emil, who had already nearly finished his, ignoring what everyone else was doing. It was a skill of his, ignoring people.

"How old are you?"

Lukas glanced next to Emil, where a boy with dark brown hair sat near Kiku and Yao.

"Ten" Emil said quietly, going  back to eating as if thoroughly uninterested.

"I'm ten too" the boy grinned. "I'm Leon. My siblings are a little weird, I do feel a little sorry for Mei though, being the only girl in this entire place."

Lukas blinked and glanced round, only now noticing how many boys there were in comparison to girls, twenty four to one. It was a little unfair. "Is she okay with it though?" he asked.

Leon looked up and grinned at him. "Oh, yeah. She's fine, just gets angry a lot."

"Don't get on the wrong side of her" the boy on the other side of Leon laughed, leaning across him. "She'll batter you."

"I can hear you Yong Soo" Mei glared and pointed her knife at him. "And yes, I'll batter you once I've finished eating."

"Run" Leon muttered to him and Yong Soo nodded.

"Give it back."

The third eldest Kirkland, Dylan charged past Lukas' chair, followed by the youngest, Peter, wailing and shouting for his game to be returned, Dylan having tight hold onto it.

"Shouldn't have been playing it under the table then should you?" Dylan mocked, tripping as Ronan stook his foot out. Peter snatched up his game and ran back to his seat. "The hell?"

"So, is it always like this?" Lukas asked.

"Yup" Berwald muttered. "Always."

"Not the best of first impressions are we?" Mathias winked. "But still, you'll like it here I think."