The World Through My Eyes [My Poem Collection]

Maybe

I remember every word he said, 

How it made me cry like a baby. 

Everyday, the fear started again, 

Everyday, I lived with "maybe" 

Maybe this is the day he kills me, 

Maybe today I slit both my wrists. 

Maybe today someone will notice it, 

Maybe it's the last day I feel his fists. 

But every day I woke up again, 

Living with the fear of going downstairs. 

Looking at the food on the table, 

And waiting to see if he shares. 

School was always my escape, 

But bullies made enjoying school hard. 

Learning was hard if you had a lot on your mind, 

So my low grades showed I was a retard. 

Walking home was really painful, 

But I wasn't allowed to go to my room. 

He said we had to be a family, 

So I waited for him to get the broom. 

Tears were not allowed in the house, 

But it was hard to keep them from falling. 

Once he started to teach me what respect was, 

It was hard to concentrate on the name calling. 

I remember every broken bone, 

How it made me cry like a baby. 

Everyday, the fear started again, 

Everyday, I lived with "maybe" 

Maybe this is the day he kills me, 

Maybe today I die by my own hand. 

Maybe today will be my last day, 

Maybe nobody will ever understand. 

And I thought somebody just might, 

But I could only count on myself. 

Only when dad went a little too far, 

The problem finally resolved itself. 

Then, they understood. 

_ _ _

Please, don't wait for someone to help you. The cruel reality is that nobody will help you unless you reach out first. Don't stay silent and keep your secrets to yourself. Millions of people never get the help they deserve because they fake being okay too well. If someone is hurting you, you should ALWAYS ask for help. Don't let it go too far. By going too far, I don't just mean your death. You don't always have to die to have permanent damage. Things like these hurt you your entire life, even after the problem is gone. So don't let it come that far and reach out fast. Every day you keep your mouth shut, is a day too long. Don't let abuse become a part of your life because it fucks you up in a lot of different ways and once the damage is done, it's impossible to turn back the time. I can't tell you this enough. Please, please, don't stay silent. Bruises dissappear but the mental bruises won't, so don't say that one bruise is no big deal. EVERY bruise, however small, is a big deal. Every time you get hurt, it's a big deal. 

Don't stay silent. Seriously.