The World Through My Eyes [My Poem Collection]

Jay's Suicide Note

Jay hates his handwriting, 

But he's writing this goodbye letter. 

He's not sure if anyone would care, 

That he won't ever get better. 

"Hello, or goodbye, it's how you look at it, 

Yes, even now I'm trying to be a clown. 

It's harsh of me but I hope you're crying, 

When you put my suicide note down. 

Let me be cliché once more, it's not your fault, 

I truly hope you won't blame yourself for this. 

You don't deserve any pain, so please don't, 

It's your sweet compassionate side I will miss. 

Things haven't been going well for me, 

They never really have, despite your love. 

Even with all our friends and my dear family, 

Sometimes having such love still isn't enough. 

I have been selfish lately, but I know you're not mad, 

Not even when I brushed your worried look away. 

Your worst fear has come true but my fear was living, 

Maybe one day you'll understand I was never okay. 

No pill or hug can erase all that has been, 

Just like me, you will have all these memories. 

At least I know there will be a lot happy ones, 

You shouldn't be stuck with all my stupid worries. 

Kauli, you deserve a live without any trouble, 

And say what you will, you know that's what I am or was. 

I know one day I would have corrupted your mind, 

You should stay the way you are now, without any flaws. 

But, this all doesn't change my feelings for you, 

You were always my whole world, please believe me. 

I've never met anyone with such a beautiful soul, 

And I only have blackness I don't want you to see. 

Remember me as the strong, joking, crazy person, 

Remember me as someone you loved with all your heart. 

I love you, Kauli, cheesy as it is, that won't ever change, 

Sorry to hurt you now, baby, but it always hurts to fall apart. 

Don't go wondering why because you know the answer, 

Don't think you could've saved me, I couldn't even save myself. 

Don't break into pieces, just don't forget I was a human being once, 

I'm scared, you know, I have always been, but don't blame yourself. 

I could call my life a life, only because you were part of it, 

I have felt true happiness whenever I was with you. 

You gave me all I could dream of but now It's time to go, 

Because I still can't forget the past like you can do. 

You're stronger than me, secretly you probably knew, 

That's why we never had a fight, now even a little one. 

I want to thank you for treating me like I'm made of gold, 

But you don't need the broken me, your life has just begun. 

Just promise me you'll always smile when you think about me, 

Live the way you want to, never let anything change you. 

You are the most beautiful person I've ever known, inside and out, 

So if you keep smiling and live on, I feel like I'll be there too. 

I'll miss you, baby, I'll always miss you. Goodbye." 

Jay put the suicide note down and cried, 

A few tears had mixing with the ink. 

Even now he was scared to be judged, 

What would the one reading this think? 

He didn't want to die, he was scared to, 

But at the same time he wanted to end this. 

His only regret is not being able to hug the reader, 

If only it was possible to give him a last kiss. 

Jay put the note on his bed, visible and open, 

Then he took so many of those terrible pills. 

He just wanted to escape his own mind, 

Because that's the thing that truly kills. 

The note will explain, the note will cry for him, 

And he'll be free of it all, selfish as it may be. 

Jay dreams about the happy time with the reader, 

He closes his eyes, and counts, one, two, three. 

Goodbye.