Darling You've Got Your Demons | Kaylor

sixteen

Taylor

"Mom, stop you're being embarrassing!" I whined as she once again recounted one of my least favorite childhood memories. My mom's ill-timed skype call had interrupted my baking session with Karlie. She barely knew anything about our relationship, but she certainly knew the most out of my friends and family. I had told her about Karlie's BPD, with her permission of course, and she was nothing but accepting. My mom is always teeming with love that spills over onto nearly everyone she meets.

Somehow, baking began to become a weekly constant. Every week, Karlie seemed to be over, assisting me in creating our latest delicious concoction. I know it helped her to have the knowledge that we would be together regularly, and I think it helped me too. Especially because these past three weeks had been filled with argument and anger with my record label. They still were trying to get me to change my ways, and were not at all okay with me releasing a pop album. They'd even had the audacity to suggest that I allow someone else to write some songs for me.

I fought back, but it's hard to stay positive when it seems like everyone is against you. It was my art, my emotions, my experiences, my life, my soul, poured into these lyrics, and they were stomping all over them like it wouldn't cause me any pain. So, for the past three weeks, I'd invited Karlie over and we baked.

Still on skype, my mother was giving Karlie an intricate description of my very first soccer game. Long story short, my soccer career was over before it had even begun. Karlie was laughing and my mom was laughing and even Meredith looked amused. I slid my bottom lip out in a fake pout, and feigned offense. "Wow, guys. I'm really feeling the love here," I said, sarcastically.

Mom rolled her eyes, "Let me finish the story, Tay. Don't be such a drama queen." I smiled and shook my head as I placed the remaining tray of cookies in the oven. "Okay, so then the coach tells her she can't pick dandelions while the game is going on, and she just gives him this look, like, 'who do you think you are right now' and marches off the field and sits down right in the middle of a patch of dandelions. It was hilarious. She was such a little country girl back then," My mom recalls, and I couldn't help but feeling a pang of sadness. Is Mom disappointed that I'm not her little "country girl" anymore? Maybe my label is right. Maybe I won't be able to sell a pop album. After all, the pop industry is significantly different.

I brushed the thought away, tucking a lock of my newly cut short hair behind my ears. Seating myself down onto a stool, I intertwined Karlie's fingers with mine out of sight of the camera. It was her first time talking to my mom, and I could sense some of her nervous energy in the room. My thumb drew circular shapes in a rhythmic fashion on her hand, as I began discussing future plans to visit my mom this summer, before the chaos of the album release.

Karlie

When Taylor mentioned her future tour for her still unfinished album, I began to worry. If she left on tour, would she forget about me? Would our promised calls and texts dwindle after too much time apart? Would I simply become that girl at home who was rarely thought about? I couldn't go with her and risk losing my job. Besides, if I went, I would just become a burden. What would I do?

I was brought back to my senses as Taylor continued to discuss her future. "Honestly, I think this is going to be the last album with a huge tour. I love touring, but I kind of want to start thinking about settling down, y'know? And, this my last year with Big Machine. I don't think I'm going to re-sign with them again."

Andrea looked at Taylor in shock. "Wait, Taylor, are you serious?"

Taylor shrugged. "I'm seriously considering it. I mean, they just don't listen to me all the time, and...I don't know."

Andrea smiled. It took all of my brain power to remember to call her Andrea like she told me to within the first 5 seconds of our call, and not Ms. Swift, or even worse, Mama Swift. Hey, I was still a pretty big fan! "What would you do then?" she asked.

Taylor shrugged, "I kind of want to start my own record label."

"Wait. Are you serious?" both Andrea and I said at the exact same time.

Taylor giggled. "Yeah. I've been thinking about doing that for a while."

Suddenly, the timer on my phone went off, alerting us that the cookies were done. Taylor sprung out of her chair like a kangaroo. She looked adorable in her apron and her matching oven mitts. Pulling the cookies out of the oven, she set them down carefully to cool. My mouth began to water at their smell.

We continued to talk casually with Andrea and eventually had a rather childish snack of cookies and milk as I tried to explain how important video games are. It was a good day for me. It was almost as if it was the calm before the storm.