fixing the unfixable -phan neko (BoyXBoy)

Chapter 20- I'll protect you

Phil's P.O.V

I began to chock out sobs as Dan clung to me suffocating tight.

Even with a grip that strong it still felt as if I was alone.

"I- I can't" I gasped, unable to breathe. 

Before long I was rocking backwards and forwards and I couldn't even tell if Dan was with me anymore.

My heart was beating out of my chest and the more times I screwed my eyes shut the blurrier my vision got.

"Phil." I could here faintly, like a distant echo.

It gradually grew quieter until my vision turned to black and I stopped.

Dan's P.O.V

"What just happened?" I mumbled quietly under my breath whilst cradling the unconscious boy now on my lap.

Every few seconds I would wipe away a stray tear trying to hold myself together.

About five minuets later the past few minuets events sunk in and I didn't even try to hold back the fat tears flowing down both of my cheeks .

My hands were trembling in a mixture of sadness and fear and gently, I dragged one across his cheek wiping the mixture off both of our tears off his face.

"I won't let him hurt you again. I promise." I said in an attempt to both calm myself and get rid of some of my guilt.

"D-Dan." Phil stuttered, slowly opening his eyes with a pained expression.

"Are you okay." I said with a slight shake in my voice as I wiped away the tear tracks and tried to stop any more from appearing.

"Yeah, I think so. I have a headache." He groaned before pulling himself up and finally looking at me.

"Are you okay." He asked in a, still quiet, worried tone.

"Y-yeah. I-I'm fine. " I replied trying to give him a smile at the end but the most my mouth would do is twitch.

"No your not. Your eyes are all red and I know you've been crying. What's the matter." He asked with concern dripping from his voice.

Way to go me.

'It should be me comforting Phil, not the other way around.' I thought, mentally kicking myself.

"Nothings the matter. I just don't want to loose you. " I told I'm, only partly lying.

"Is that all?" Phil asked, unsure.

"Yeah, that's all." I lied, giving a genuine looking fake smile.

"O-okay." He stuttered before a small yawn slipped from his lips.

"Is someone tired?" I teased giving him a gentle peck on the nose.

"Yeah." He sighed before standing up and offering me his hand.

"Thank you." I smiled, walking towards the kitchen, the opposite direction to the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Phil questioned with his head cocked slightly to the side.

"To get you some paracetamol, where else?" I smiled at him, looking over my shoulder.

"Oh, okay." He said returning the smile and trailing after me.

After he took it we both headed up and got ready for bed then slipped in.

"Goodnight kitten. I love you. I whispered, pecking the top of his fluffy hair and tightening the grip around his waist.

"I love you too. Goodnight." He replied sleepily, his breathing slowly calming.

"I'll keep you safe. don't worry." I whispered, knowing he was asleep, before drifting off myself.

Phil's P.O.V

when I could hear Dan letting out small snores about half an hour later I carefully began to attempt to slip out of bed but with every move I made Dan's grip grew increasingly tighter.

I decided to breathe in as deep as I could and try to pull his arms apart in one quick motion which somehow suprizingly worked.

"I'm sorry." I whispered quietly giving Dan's cheek a small peck before leaving and heading off to the bathroom.

 ~This may be seen as triggering so don't read until the end of the other trigger warning if it may trigger you~

As quietly and quickly as I could, I searched for my blades in the cabinet hoping to god that I didn't knock anything over or make a sound.

Not long after beginning my search I found what I was looking for and pulled my box out from the back.

Opening the lid, I could see that they all still looked the same, with their notes still stuck on top of their shiny surface.

Just looking at them made my wrists burn with desire and so I soon rolled up my sleeves, pulled a blank blade from the box and positioned it over some of my already scared flesh.

I got to work right away, at first slow, but gradually growing faster and faster, the burn from each tare fuelling my want for more.

What must of been twenty or so minuets later I stopped and noticed how much blood I'd spilled realising I would now have to clean it all up.

I cleaned and dressed the wounds before beginning to scrub the floor and about another half hour later I was done.

Just as quiet as before, I slipped back into our bedroom and into the bed feeling Dan find me again in his sleep.

With my want for my old friends now gone, I allowed myself to fall out of reality.

Dan's P.O.V

I woke up to the sun shining in my face but something seemed different.

Sleepily, I forced my eyes open, trying to focus them, and scanned the room for Phil but I couldn't see him anywhere.

I immediately became much more awake as I realized that the space next to me was cold and didn't seem like Phil had been there in a while.

"Phil." I shouted in a panic but got no reply.

Where is he?

What's happened to my Phil?

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Cliff-hanger! Maybe, I don't know. This chapter was really fun to right, not like any other of course but It was more so for some reason. I really hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing and yeah, that's about all I have to say. Bye bye.

-Chloe