The Killer's Girl (Watty Awards 2013)

Chapter 34- A Mother's Grief

Jeff's P.O.V.

Iris stood at the crib for the longest time. She stared down into it, looking at the small stuffed kitten she'd wanted the baby to snuggle with. The entire room was painted a soft white, like my hoodie. She was very convinced that the crib should have gone in front of the window, so that the baby got enough sunlight.

The mobile above the crib was playing soft music, and Iris was humming it. I stood in the doorway, watching her. She stroked the small stuffed cat, staring out the window.

"Iris... We need to talk. I know you're sad. So am I, but we need to start moving on, soon. It's been two months." She turned around and looked at me. "I know we do. I just... I kind of wish I would've died instead of the baby." I watched her continue to stroke the cat.

I put my hand on her shoulder. "Iris, why are you causing yourself more pain than necessary?" She didn't turn to look at me. "Iris, listen to me! You need to listen to me!" I snapped. I realized I'd just snapped at a mourning woman and immediately felt like an asshole. "Iris, please. Just... Turn to me." She slowly began to turn. "What is it, Jeff?" she asked. "Iris you haven't been eating or drinking. I understand how upset you are. Don't you think I want to trade my life for our child's? But I can't. What happened, well, it happened. We need to start letting go. It isn't your fault, or my fault. It's nobodies fault! We can't blame ourselves!" She closed her eyes. "I know. That doesn't stop me from being upset. Jeff, my baby is dead. Don't you think I deserve to mourn?" She pulled away from me. "Just go."

I shook my head. "Iris, if you'd like to talk about it, then come on. We can talk about it." She looked at me. "I... That sounds nice." I took her hand and led her to the kitchen. She sat down on a chair and rested her head on her hands. "Here. You need to eat." I said, searching through the cabinets. I found a bowel and a box of honey nut cheerios. I poured them and stuck them in front of her. She pushed them away. "Iris, you need to eat something. Please, for me?" She looked up and sighed, picking up one or two cheerios and popping them in her mouth. I handed her a spoon.

"Jeff, it's just... Unfair. We did nothing to deserve this! What did we do that caused this to happen?" Iris cried. "Nothing, Iris. We did nothing. It was just a cruel turn of fate. It isn't your fault, or my fault. No one is to blame." She looked up. "Jeff... We were both so prepared, so ready!" I walked over to her and kissed her forehead. "I know. I know it frustrates you and hurts you, but it is time to think of something else. Anything else."

The object had been in my pocket the entire time. I wanted to pull it out now, but I didn't know if I should or not. Would it be the right time?

"Iris... Here is something for you do think about." I pulled out the small box and opened it, getting on one knee. "Will you please never leave me again?"