Irreplaceable (Resiliance Book 3) (Avengers Fan-fic) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 5

Sam

 I stood outside, the cool sea breeze blowing my hair about the place. I had been standing here since we landed and got off the quinjet. I had needed the time to clear my head. Thinking about my past always left me unsettled, frazzled. I had also needed to get away from Loki, before he managed to corner me.

I was too tired to deal with this. But it wasn’t the kind of tired that could be fixed with a good, long, peaceful sleep. This type of fatigue was the one that sank into your mind and bones. The one that made you want to give up, to stop fighting. The one that had tried to make me jump off a balcony. I couldn’t keep doing this.

Not only was fighting Alex tiring in itself, but so was tracking him. But the pain, the torture, and the sheer workload wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was what it was doing to me. Without my permission, it was digging up those memories which I had buried deepest. The darkest ones that threatened to shred my soul into pieces if I dwelt on them for too long.

We had moved even farther out to sea. I looked up at the sky, and guessed from the sun, that we were about a hundred miles from the mainland, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. People milled and rushed about me, checking the various equipment and weapons, including the jets. We would be taking off soon. I sighed and took a deep breath of the salty sea air

Someone put their hand on my shoulder, and I jumped, turning to see Steve standing next to me. He smiled apologetically.

‘Sorry.’ He said softly, stepping closer to me cautiously. ‘But we’re going up in a minute. You might want to come inside.’ he said with a little smirk. I raised my eyebrow, pursing my lips.

‘Nah, I think I’m good.’ I joked, before I sighed, turning back with him, sighing. I leaned into him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders protectively and led me back inside.

As we slowly walked carefully across the deck, he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, before gently tilting my chin up towards him. We stepped inside the door and he bent down and kissed my lips gently. He sighed, resting his forehead against mine as I closed my eyes, only to be assaulted by memories again. I flinched and wrapped my arms around him tight. He was surprised at first, before quickly returning the favour.

‘Remind me to stop letting myself think.’ I grumbled against his chest, before taking a shaky breath. He chuckled slightly, holding me tight. He pulled back and kissed me gently.

‘Stop thinking.’ He told me quietly, before taking my hand and leading me through the helicarrier. We reached the control deck, which was set up in an almost identical fashion to the control room back at HQ. As soon as we stepped inside, Loki whipped his head up and looked at us. He stood and walked around to us, his fist clenched.

‘Samantha, I need to talk to you.’ He said. I smiled softly at Steve and squeezed his hand once before letting go. He watched us carefully, before walking away to a seat at the table.

I sighed and looked at Loki with pleading eyes. ‘Loki, please, for the sake of sanity, don’t bring it up.’ I told him, before trying to walk past him, but he caught my arm, turning towards me, and forcing me to turn back to him.

‘Samantha, what they did… It deserves to be punished severely.’ He told me, his eyes dark. I tore my arm from his grip, and glared at him.

‘They were punished, Loki. You saw what I d…’I stopped, choking up, and looked down.

‘Sam, Loki, everything ok?’ Clint called, noticing our little exchange. I glanced at him over my shoulder before glaring at Loki.

‘Tell them, and I’ll toss you off this helicarrier.’ I hissed under my breath, before storming off, out of the control room, heading straight to the training rooms. I tied my hair up with a bobbin I dug out of my pocket as I walked, before bursting in the door, scaring the few in there, training. I went straight to the supply cupboard, and pulled out a pair of straps, before storming up to one of the punching bags, and tearing into it as the scene played over and over in my head.