Deep in the Meadow

|13| Celestia Snow

I'm awakened by Rye in the middle of the night. He screams waiting for comfort.
I watch a lady in a white suit come to him and unlock his cell. Since they keep the lights on constantly, darkness isn't an issue. She picks him up just as a mother would, and realizes he has a dirty diaper. I can't hear what she says because of the background talking, but it looks like she's cooing him and telling him that "it's ok."
I watch as she takes him out of the cell and cradles him in her arms. She walks to the side of the room, where barely any workers are. It's not until then, I see the baby table against the wall. It has a padded mat on top for changing diapers, and a milk station with various types of bottles and food formulas.

The lady rests him on the table and changes his diaper with such ease its almost like she has been practicing. Then she fills a green colored bottle with some with some milk from a weird machine and feeds it to him. But no matter what she does, he still wails.

Then I realize that I recognize that woman. She the lady with the long brown hair who is always looking at me, along with the man with the curly blonde hair. I still haven't figured out the mystery as to why the workers always look at me.

For some reason I'm jealous of her for caring for my son. He is mine and Peeta's son. Not her's. I should be taking care of him. I should be feeding him and cradling him. Maybe this lady is Rye's caretaker. She seems to know what she's doing.

I sit up and watch her bounce Rye in her arms, then carry him back to his cell. She seems like she wants to confront him until he stops crying, but the urgency in her eyes tells me that West would not approve that.

Once crying Rye is placed back in his crib, and the worker leaves the cell, I let a tear fall.

My children are in the hands of torturers. I can't comfort them. I can't care for them. I can't save them.

Not wanting to wake Willow with my shuffling and movement, I try to get to sleep. But after 10 minuets of listening to Rye's continuous cries, I give up knowing that there isn't any way I can sleep.

I stay up until it's morning, or at least what feels like morning. There aren't any widows so I can't tell.

Rye had stopped crying and fallen to sleep, and Willow is still curled up on the table deep in slumber. Peeta hasn't woken yet, but he will soon. Today is torture day.

"Look who's awake!" West yells startling me. He stands nearly 5 feet away from my cell staring at me. How could I of not heard him walk over here?

"How can I sleep when my child is in distress most the night?" I ask rubbing my eyes.

"Oh. You mean the little one. Rye. The nurser I sent to take care of him asked if she could stay with him until he calmed down. I rejected her because I had a kid of my own once, and I knew that it wouldn't matter if she stayed with him for the whole night because the only way he would stop crying is if he was in the presents of his mommy." He grins. Of course I already knew that. And I guess I was right. The lady with the long brown hair who always watches me and who was caring for Rye, is Rye's nurser.

"You had a kid?" I ask realizing it's the second time he has brought it up. I might as well ask about this daughter he keeps talking about.

"Of course! Her name was Celestia." He answers. I gasp. It sound familiar. Too familiar.
"She was 14 when the rebellion hit. Innocent. Beautiful. Loved. And YOU killed her." He says staring me down.

So he hates me for killing President Snow, putting the Capitol even with the districts, and killing his daughter. That's quite a list.
Then out of nowhere, it hits me! Celestia Snow. That's President snow's granddaughter! I heard that a group of rebels killed her. Johanna included. But I can see why he blames me. After all, I was the face of the rebellion that killed her.

Wait. If Celestia is Snow's granddaughter and West's daughter, that means..
"Your President Snow's son?" I ask with my eyes widening.

"Yea. And you killed my dad and daughter." He tells me.
"Snow appointed me head thaumaturge when I was just a child and when he was still new to the President job. He wanted me to take his place when he passed, and I said I would rule just like him. But then you showed up and killed my dad and daughter, then appointed Paylor as president. It was supposed to be ME." He complains. And I guess that explains why his first action was to kill Paylor then eliminate my children who could start another rebellion resulting in pushing him back to the bottom.

A moan sounds in the cell beside me. Willow wakes and sits up stretching her tiny two year old arms.

"Well there isn't any time to chit-chat about all you've done wrong to me, because we have to get started. It looks like the rest of the Mellarks are waking up, which means the fun is about to start." West smiles watching Willow slowly get off the table.
"Kennedy, prepare the glass box room. I think we will start the torturing with this little girl here, then move on to the rest." West says pointing to Willow.
I whimper.

"Yes, Thaumaturge West." Kennedy answers.

"But before we start, as I said, if you answer this question, one person out of your family can be exempt from the torturing of the day. And remember, it must be the truthful answer." West explains. I realize Peeta as woken up.

"Here is today's question.
Where is that district 7 woman who was in the Quarter Quell with you, that rebelled? And I want her exact location. Not Meadow-lark district 11." West says in a mimicking voice, rolling his eyes at Peeta.

He wants to know where Johanna is. There is only one reason West would want that information. To kill her along with me and the rest of my family.

But I have to tell him where she is. I must save Willow and Rye from as much pain as possible.

Telling him equals Johanna's death sentence with us. But at least Willow or Rye will be spared for today.
Not telling him equals Willow or Rye getting hurt.

What do we choose??