Deep in the Meadow

|29| send the signal

Rebellion
That word lingers in my mind while we eat the dinner that Jena prepared for us. I just finished sending the message to the districts. I'm positive they all listened and are more than happy to take some action instead of sitting around waiting for the mutts to arrive in their district and kill all of them off. I made sure to explain, in detail, the plan and what to do. I told them about the importance of getting behind the mutt army to safety, then from there, we would split them into groups to attack the mutt army, kill Capitol citizens without the mockingjay coin, and then eliminating West. I also told them to wait for the signal to board the tribute trains tomorrow. We can't have people arriving at the Capitol before the mutts are out of range.
I concluded the message by giving them some encouragement and saying that we have a better chance of winning while losing less people, because we are a lot bigger in numbers.
I have to say, I'm not looking forward on starting another rebellion. One is plenty for me. But I guess it has to be done for our safety. Let's just hope that after this rebellion, we won't have to fight anymore. The reason I decided to have Willow four years after the first rebellion was because I wanted my children safe. But I guess we should of waited longer because this situation defiantly isn't safe.

"More, mommy." I hear Finn's tiny voice say as we sit at the dinner table. It hurts my heart looking at him because he is an exact replica of Finnick his father.
The golden blonde hair, the eyes, the face, the body, the everything.

"Ok sweetie." Annie answers kindly. She grabs his plate and puts another scoop of mashed potatoes on it, then places it back in front of him.

The rest of the dinner is mostly quiet. We finish eating and decide on letting everyone stay the night. After all, we have a huge day tomorrow. No need to get ourselves separated.

Johanna baths Asher and I decide to do some laundry and throw Asher's little outfit that Selena dressed him in when we were in the mansion, inside the load with the rest of the kids clothes. It's almost unbelievable that Asher is just a few days old still. Maybe around a week.
Johanna finished washing him and carries him around naked until the laundry is done. Peeta baths Rye, then Willow, and I dress them. Tomorrow Rye will be 11 months old. It's heartbreaking how fast time flies.

Before I know it everyone is in bed. Gale, Jena, and Adam get the guest bedroom instead of Johanna. Johanna decided to sleep on the shorter couch. Asher sleeps in Willow's old crib again beside her couch. Selena gets the longer couch. Haymitch and Effie go out to the hover to sleep, and Annie and Finn do the same with Pollux.

I lay awake and nervous.
Tomorrow is the day. I don't know if I'm ready. I don't know if I can deal with another rebellion after what happened in the last one. Too much killing. Too much dying. Too much.... Heartbreak. A picture of Prim dying pops into my head. Her calling my name, then immediately blown to bits. I remember clearly how I was knocked away by the impact of the explosion. How my cloak bursts into flames.
I realize a tear has rolled down my cheek. I just hope that no one gets hurt in the rebellion tomorrow. I don't think I can handle another death. But I know it is false hope. It's garentee someone will get hurt and its garenteed lots will die when the mutts are released.

A cry sounds. Rye. I hear Peeta shuffle to get up and comfort him, but I reach over and tuck the blankets around him again.
"I'll get him." I say. He opens his eyes more and smiles kindly at me.

"Ok." He answers getting situated again. I'm glad to do something to distract my mind.
Walking to Rye's room down the hall I peak into Willow's. She is asleep with one of her many, many cat stuffed animals tucked under her arm. I continue a few steps and enter Ryes nursery. Wet tears streak his tiny face. I reach down and pick him up and out of his crib.