Tough Love

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

When I sit at my desk, I'm still shaking, but I kind of feel like I'm home again. I can't believe I said all of that to the Captain, but the need to protect my secrets just took over. At that moment, that was more important. I sure hope the Captain isn't giving Eli a hard time, it felt a bit tense in there.

I sigh as I my eyes drift over my desk and then over the whole room. Ash is standing over by the rec room and he catches my eye as I scan the room. He shoots me a brilliant smile and a thumbs up. I feel the corner of my mouth tilt up a little, which causes him to smile even brighter, if that's even possible. He always seems to be smiling. He's always happy and it makes my heart ache. I wish I had a fraction of the happiness he has. I'm not jealous of him, don't get the wrong idea. I want him to be happy. I want Eli to be happy. I just want a tiny bit of that for myself too. I can't help but think I've ruined Eli's happiness by giving him my messy past. I've put so much more of a burden on him, and I feel awful for that. He's got even more stress and worry now that I'm paranoid the Russian's are going to come after me.

Ash and Ben walk towards my desk, talking about something, but I'm not listening to them. All I can think about is how much I need to not freak out; how much I need to be 'normal' so the Captain doesn't ask any more questions. I need to stay as far away from Paul as possible. I don't want anything to do with that man. That got me to thinking about my relationship with the Captain. It's never going to be the same. I'm always going to wonder if he's trying to find out something about me. I'm always going to feel some level of betrayal. On one hand, I do understand why he had to find out what was going on, because he can't risk the safety of the New York citizens. That, I get, really I do. What I don't get, is why wanted to know specific details; why he told me to speak to Paul. That's none of his business. As long as I'm not putting anyone in danger, and I'm doing my job, shouldn't that be enough for him?

Ben shoots me a smile and says, “It's good to have you back, Danica. It hasn't been the same without you here.”

Ash pipes in, “Yeah, maybe the Cap and Eli will get that stick out of their butts and lay off us a bit. They've been chewing on bees the whole time you've been away...”

I feel a presence behind me, so I spin round to see Eli just as he chokes out, “Ashton....”

Ash just smiles sweetly at Eli and says, “Yes Elijah? I'm just telling the young lady the truth.”

“How about you keep your truths to yourself and go tell the guys to meet in the briefing room. I'll be in in 5.”

“Yes sir.”

I can hear the sarcasm in Ash's voice. He dips his head towards me and whispers, “Seriously, he's been miserable. Have a word with him, huh? They've been killing us...”

He walks away chuckling and I look up to see Eli frowning at Ash. In his eyes there are a number of emotions floating around. I'm slowly learning to read his expressions. At the moment he's annoyed with Ash, but he's also got a hint of amusement mixed in. It looks like he's holding some worry in there too, so I ask, “Everything ok, sir?”

“Yes. I'm just glad to have you back. How are you doing?”

“I don't know.”

“I'm so proud of you, Dani. You were amazing in there. Where did that even come from?”

“I don't know. Is he angry with me?”

“No, not at all. In fact, I think he's proud of you. Showing you're not scared of him, but you still respect him makes him proud of you.”

“Scared of him? I'm petrified of that man...”

I dip my head once that truth is revealed. I didn't mean to tell him that.