Tough Love

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-five

I can't believe I'm actually doing this again. Every time I think I start to trust Eli, something throws a wrench in the works. Maybe that's a sign; maybe I'm not supposed to trust this man. But he's been so good to me and my poppa told me trust him. My poppa wouldn't tell me that if it wasn't true, would he? Why does life have to be so confusing? I don't understand people.

I stare at Eli and I notice again just how handsome he really is. That thought scares me, but it also intrigues me. I haven't found anyone handsome since I got out of that awful place. I haven't had any feelings for anyone accept fear and contempt for everyone I encounter. Eli has changed that. Even if it's only a small spark of something, it's still a change. I don't think he knows how much he's changed me, I just can't actually verbalize those kind of things. Romance and intimacy frighten me and embarrass me. I find the thought of it repulsive; enough to turn my stomach inside out. I feel the bile rise in my throat and I struggle to swallow it back down. I can't be sick now.

I take a deep breath to try to calm myself down. That causes my thoughts to wander again and I see that guy's face flash before my eyes. I can't believe I saw him. What if he tells them that I'm still alive? They'll come looking for me! They'll take me back! I can't go back; I'd rather die than go back there...

My thoughts are frantic and Eli must have sensed that, because his eyes fly open and he looks around like we're under attack. “What? What's wrong, Dani?”

I'm panicking so much that I just blurt out, “They're going to find me! They'll find me and take me back! I can't go back, please Eli.... I can't go back...”

“Shh, sweetheart. It's going to be ok. I'm not going to let them find you or take you. It's going to be ok. I'll spend every moment at your side if that's the only thing that will make you feel safe...”

“You don't know them; they'll kill you...”

“Babe, I've dealt with all sorts of people in this life. I'm not about to let the Russian Mob scare me. I'm not going to be stupid and do foolish things, but I'm not going to let them frighten me either. Just have a little faith in me. It's going to be ok.”

I whimper and I hate myself for being so weak and helpless but I can't seem to function when these thoughts course through my mind. Fear and panic take over and they render me dysfunctional. You can't imagine how utterly frustrating that is for me. I have a photographic memory and an above average IQ and I'm unable to function physically or mentally when I get into this mindset. There's no stopping it, either. No matter how hard I try, I cannot stop the thoughts and memories.

I whisper, “You promise?”

I know he can't really promise such a thing, but I just want to hear him say it. To give me some form of hope to cling to; to know that he'll do everything in his power to make it all ok.

“I promise. I will do everything I can to keep you safe. Even if it means camping out at your house and getting a team to watch your building. I will do whatever it takes, I promise.”

“Thank you... They're horrible people, Eli...”

“I know and I'll be careful. Should we head back now?”

“Yes sir.”

As we pull back into the flow of traffic, I can't help but worry about what the future holds. It's as if Eli reads my mind because he looks at me briefly and says, “It's going to be ok, sweetheart. I won't let anything happen to you. It's going to be alright.”

I nod slightly, not knowing how to respond to that. For the rest of the journey I sit silently, staring out of the window.

When we get back to my house, I notice the flashing light on the answering machine. I frown as I stare at it. The only person who leaves messages is Eli and I've been with him all day, so I know it's not him. My number isn't listed, so I don't get calls. Mainly out of curiosity I press the play button and I hear the Cap's gruff voice filter through. “Dani, it's me, Captain Michaels.” He sighs and then continues, “Look Dani, we need to talk. I know you're probably angry with me, but you have to realize what it's like from my perspective. We need to talk about this. Your job is still open if you want it, but the condition to that is that you give me some answers. I can't have another Cain incident, especially seeing as you have a history in that department. I'd like you to come in on Monday morning to talk. Even if you don't want the job, I'd like to clear some stuff up. Just get in before the teams do. Hopefully I'll see you on Monday.”