Tough Love

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-One

Chapter One Hundred Thirty-One

Dani's P.O.V.

Eli wasn't joking when he said Connie was excited. She planned a whole party in the space of a day. While it's slightly unnerving for me, I have to admit that it's quite an achievement. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I have no idea how to plan a party, let alone a wedding. We don't have to rush into anything, do we? I mean, it's not like we have to get married in a few weeks, is it? Maybe that's how things work. I have no idea. I didn't think about this when I gave Eli my answer. Why didn't I think everything through properly? I was so scared he wouldn't return from the transfer and when he did I was so relieved that it seemed like the right thing to do. I should have talked to him about it beforehand. Why am I so stupid? Why don't I think things through properly?

Hearing my name snaps me out of my mental scolding. I have no idea who called me, so my head snaps in the direction of the voice. I'm met with Connie's kind face watching me with concern.

"Are you ok, Dani? Is it all too much for you?"

I try to give her a reassuring smile, "It's ok, Connie. I was just lost in thought."

"I know it's all new and daunting for you, sweetie. If you need anything, you just ask me."

I bite my lip, wondering if I should voice some of my thoughts. After a minute or so, I decide to just bite the bullet and ask.

"Connie, may I ask you something?"

"Of course, dear. Ask away."

"What is normal in a situation like this?"

"An engagement?"

"Yes ma'am."

"There are no set rules. You can do whatever you want to. If you want to have a long engagement, then that's what do you. If you want to get married straight away, then you can do that too. Everything is up to you and Eli."

That's good to know. Although, it means I have to talk to him about it all. He's got something else on his mind at the moment. He thinks I can't see it, but I can. I know something is bothering him. I just hope it isn't bad or that I've disappointed him. I'm really trying to be better for him and for myself. I hate to think I'm a disappointment or an embarrassment to him.

Maria appears at Connie's side and she starts talking about churches and flowers and dresses and I don't hear what else because that's when the panic settles in the pit of my stomach. This is real. This is actually happening. I mean, I'm wearing the ring and I gave Eli an answer, but it didn't feel like anything had changed until Maria started telling me all of the things I have to buy and do. It suddenly hits me what people are expecting and I don't know how to deal with that. The weight of my thoughts feel like someone has physically punched me in the stomach, and trust me, I know exactly what that feels like.

Before I even have time to even think about freaking out, Eli is by my side and whispering in my ear. I have no idea what he is saying, but I do know that simply hearing his voice starts to calm me down. Instinctively, I place my hand flat on his chest, over his heart. I've become accustomed to this routine and I know exactly how this process goes without even thinking about it. His heart rate is slightly raised for a few seconds and then it gradually slows down. I count the beats almost inaudibly, my lips barely moving as I speak the numbers.

When I've calmed down, Eli speaks in Russian, "Are you back?"

I nod ever so slightly, biting my bottom lip in embarrassment. Eli puts his arm around me and tucks me close against his side.

He continues to question me in Russian so no one can understand us, "What happened? You were ok a minute ago..."

I shrug against his side, "My brain just got a bit carried away; thinking too far ahead I guess..."