Tough Love

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Chapter Sixty-Eight

Dani

My poppa and I are walking through the pasture, looking at all of the beautiful horses. He really has done an amazing job with this place and I tell him so. He smiles in response to my comment, but the smile doesn't reach his eyes.I begin to feel the familiar sense of panic settle in the pit of my stomach. He's going to say something I'm not going to like.

He reaches for my hands, to stop me from walking and he says, “Danica, you know your mother and I love you very much, don't you?”

“Yes poppa.” Even though inside I know that would change if they knew the truth.

“And you know that we want the best for you, yes?”

“Yes poppa.”

“And did you think about what I said?”

“Yes poppa. I don't know what to do.”

“You miss Eli, yes?”

“Yes sir, but I don't want to leave you and momma.”

“I know, but you have to make a decision soon, otherwise it will be made for you and you will be stuck here.”

“Am I dead, poppa?”

“I'm not going to lie to you, my child. At the moment, you are pretty much dead. The final decision lies with you. If you want to go back to Eli, then you must fight to get back to him. Does he know what happened?”

“With the investigation?”

“No. To make you so sad.”

I drop my head and whisper, “Yes sir.”

“So you trust him. But you can't tell me?”

“No sir. I can't do that to you.”

He nods and purses his lips in thought.

“He must care for you a great deal...”

“I don't know, poppa.”

“It sounds like he does. He also sounds like a good man. If you were to never see him again, what would you wish you could have done differently? Think about all of the people that you know and try to think what you would want to change.”

I think for a minute or two. The need to get some of the guilt off my chest nearly rips me in half and I bite back a sob. I whisper, “There's so many lies, poppa. So many lies...”

“What kind of lies?”

“My whole life. You wouldn't be proud of me. You and momma wouldn't want me to stay here if you knew...”

“Oh my dear child, we would never think like that! We want what is best for you, always. I will always be proud of you. You have turned into an amazing and beautiful young woman and you have a job working with the police. This is something to be proud of...”

“It's all a lie, poppa. I have done so many awful things. I don't want Eli to hate me...”

“I don't think he will hate you. If the way you describe him is anything to go by, then I really doubt he will ever hate you. Why don't you tell me about it? Maybe I can help you to decide. You want to tell me, but you're scared, aren't you? You fear that I won't love you, don't you? Svetlyak, I am your poppa. I will always be your poppa and I will never love you any less. I may get sad, disappointed or angry, but every father feels these things at some point. I will never love you any less, I can promise you that one hundred percent...”