Tough Love

Chapter Fifty-Three

Hey guys. So, I have a new cover, courtesy of Egholm. I really love it, so thank you for taking the time to make it for me. I don't know how to dedicate a chapter, but this chapter is for you Egholm.

I really have to thank you all for your support and kind words, they really do mean a lot to me. Anyways, enough of my babbling, on to the chapter! :)

Chapter Fifty-Three

Dani

We're eating in silence, but it isn't a comfortable silence. Yesterday changed everything, it seems. I pick at my food and I can feel Eli's gaze on me. Sure enough, when I glance up Eli is watching me closely. I feel my cheeks heat up out of embarrassment. He mouths, “You ok?” I shrug, not really knowing the answer to that. So much has happened in 2 days and I don't really know how to process it all. Because of the drugs, my mind isn't able to analyze it the same way it usually would.

Eli whispers, “You need to eat something, baby. Do you want us to go into the living room?”

I shake my head; that would be too obvious. Besides, I just don't really want to eat. I'm not particularly hungry, that's all. I hear a fork settle on a plate and I glance up to see Don sitting back in his seat. He smiles at me and says, “I'll just cut through the silence and start, shall I? I didn't want to talk about medication while we're eating, but if you're ok with it then I'll just carry on.”

“Yes sir.”

“Ok. So, your last dose of this particular drug will be tonight. Eli says you've been doing quite well on this course. Would you agree, Dani?”

“Yes sir.”

“How does it help?”

Is he for real? He wants me to break it all down? I hardly talk to the man and now he wants me to explain the workings of my mind to him. I tense up and I can feel myself panicking. No words will leave my mouth because I'm so concerned about freaking out, or trying not to freak out as the case may be. Eli sees my struggle and he says, “The panic attacks aren't as bad as they used to be, are they? We seems to be able to manage them better and I think you're having less of them, right?”

I quickly nod, not able to speak yet. Eli reaches across the table and places his hand in front of me, in the middle of the table. I tentatively place my hand in his and I feel some of the panic leave my body. Eli is here; nothing is going to happen. Eli is with me. He'll make sure I'm ok. I keep telling myself this to keep the panic at bay.

Don asks, “What about the nightmares? Any change there?”

I shrug, so Eli says, “She seems to be getting a bit more sleep. I don't know if that means the nightmares are less or if they're just not as intense.”

I stare at Eli's and my hand as I say, “My brain doesn't react the same way. Like it's a few steps behind the pictures.”

“Does that make them easier to deal with?”

“I don't know. It's a weird feeling.”

“But you've both seen a positive change? Things have been easier?”

I nod and Eli replies, “Yes sir. Things have been calmer.”

“Good. Based on that, I'd like to change our action plan. I was going to give you a few weeks break and go from there, but I don't want to do that now. I'd like to try a drug called Modecate. It's a long term, slow releasing drug. Basically what happens is, it gets injected deep into your thigh muscle and over the course of a few weeks the drug is slowly released into your system. The usual starting dose is around 12.5 milligrams, but I think that'll be too low for you. I'm going to start you at 30 milligrams and we'll see how we get on. We'll increase or decrease the dose as we need to. Is that ok with you?”