Tough Love

Chapter Ninety-Seven

Chapter Ninety-Seven

Dani

As we sit in Sam's office, I feel very odd. I don't even know how to describe it. My heart is light, but heavy at the same time. My leg feels very strange and light because there's no cast on it. It hurts a little bit now, but I can deal with the pain. It's not like I haven't felt worse. Eli must notice I'm in pain, because he places another chair in front of me and tells me to rest my leg on it. It's then that Sam speaks.

“I see you have your cast off. That's good. How does it feel?”

“A little sore, but very light. I almost feel like part of my leg is missing.”

She chuckles, “I can imagine. I broke my leg when I was in High School. Being a doctor's daughter does not make for the best patient. It was like having a permanent reminder of the do's and don'ts of leg breaking.”

Eli chuckles and I smile slightly at her. There's something about Sam that just makes me feel a little less frightened. She's in the right job, because she seems to put people at ease. Well, at least she puts me at ease a little bit.

“So, how has your week been?”

“Ok. Busy.”

“Anything you want to talk about in particular?”

I shrug, not really knowing what to say. Eli tries to make it easier by saying, “We're going to look at a house in the next few days...”

“You are? That's great! How do you feel about that, Dani?”

“Ok, good. It's daunting, but it's with Eli, so it'll all be ok.”

“I'm sure it will. He will take good care of you. Any panic attacks since I last saw you?”

So, we talk about going to find the alley and seeing Beth again. I don't reveal any memories or anything, but we work on the techniques to try to calm myself down. I seem to be able to get myself under control a bit better and Eli only has to intervene a few times. That's much better than before, when I couldn't even go through one attempt without him stepping in.

Sam presses the subject of Beth, wanting to know how I feel about the reunion.

“I feel awful that I just shut her out of my mind.”

“Do you know why you did that?”

“I didn't want to think about those days. But that's not her fault. I punished her because of my selfishness.”

“No, you did it for self preservation; to try to heal. You might not have gone about it the right way, but that's the only way you knew how to try. Anyone or anything linked to that past would have been a trigger, so you shut it all out completely. That is understandable and I'm sure Beth sees that. You say you're going back to see her again?”

“Yes ma'am.”

“That's good. For all of you. Eli included. It lets him know you're letting him into you life and it allows you and Beth to repair the relationship. It also shows that you trust Eli enough to let him into that part of your life. He's a patient man, you know this, but it helps to give him some insight into your life.”

I stare at my fingers. I don't want to hear that. It makes me think he's going to get fed up of waiting and he'll leave. A lone tear slides down my cheek, but no one can see it because my head is tucked so low. Eli doesn't need to see my face to know something is wrong, and he whispers in Russian, “I'm not going anywhere, baby. Even if you never tell me another thing about your past, I'm not leaving. We'll make our present and future together and that's all that matters. If you woke up tomorrow and decided never to reveal another thing about what happened, then I'd still be by your side. Sam didn't mean it that way, ok?”