Tough Love

Chapter Fifty

Chapter Fifty

Eli

Dani has quite a restless night, but that's probably because of the heavy topic we were discussing before we went to sleep. I do feel like we are making some real progress though, I just hope it's not ruined when Dani stops taking the medication. I had a bit of a restless night myself, there's a small crack in the box of my mind and a few army memories managed to escape. I don't regret serving my country, not for a second. However, there are certain aspects of battle that are not talked about. Taking someone's life takes it's toll on you. It's not really a natural thing to do, and even with all of the training it can never fully prepare you for the repercussions.

Dani's on the treadmill when I go into the kitchen for some coffee. That girl can seriously run. She would actually be on that treadmill for hours. I really want to take her running in Central Park, especially early in the morning during the spring and summer. The way the sunlight peeks through the trees as it is rising makes you feel like you are the only person in that moment.

I set the coffee machine and make a start on breakfast. By the time I've finished making breakfast, the treadmill has stopped so I go to let Dani know it's time to eat. She's doing some yoga stretches as I approach the doorway. She's in deep concentration and I don't want to break that so I just watch her. I see the scars on her lower back again. They're very similar to the scars on her arms and my mind wanders to what could have caused them. I know it doesn't really matter if I know what it was, because that's not going to remove the scaring, but I can't help but think of all the awful things that could have caused them. I don't know if my mind brings up worse scenarios or not.

As I'm watching, I see something different; something I haven't noticed before. Maybe because I wasn't looking before or maybe because Dani's shirt has never risen that much before. Whatever the reason, I've seen it now. On the right side of her lower back, there's a tattoo. I can't make out what it is, but it looks like some form of identification. I remember Dani saying at Coney Island that she had a tattoo. It shocked me back then, but actually seeing it now I think it shocks me even more.

I desperately want to ask about it, but I don't know if that's something Dani will be open to. I decide to test the waters a little bit at breakfast and see how that goes. I clear my throat to let Dani know I'm here. She jumps and immediately pulls her t shirt down to cover her back. I quickly avert my gaze, so she doesn't think I'm staring. “Breakfast is ready whenever you're done.”

“I'm coming, thank you.”

As I start to dish our food, my mind goes back to the tattoo. Something about it is bothering me, but I can't think what it is. Sometimes I wish I had Dani's memory. It certainly would make my job easier in some respects. Although, I do know that it would make forgetting some memories very difficult. Dani plops down on the stool, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Eli? Are you ok?”

“Huh?”

She smiles a little and then says, “You look troubled. Are you ok?”

“Just thinking, that's all.”

She nods and scoops up some of her eggs. I try a subtle tactic, to see how Dani responds. I run my fingers 'absentmindedly' over my Ranger's tattoo on my upper arm. I see her gaze flit to my tattoo and then back to her plate again quickly. I continue to do this in between taking bites of food. I see her tense up dramatically at first and then her body sort of slumps in some form of resignation. After a few minutes, she looks very uncomfortable as she whispers, “You want to ask me something, don't you?”