Completed Heart

Chapter25: Pain

Chapter 25: Pain

I woke up at 12:17p.m. the next day. I got out of bed, still not feeling anything. I had to meet Tyler soon, so I quickly changed and got ready. By the time I came downstairs, I heard a tentative tap on the front door. I walked over and opened the door. I tried to put on a cheery face.

“Hey, Ty.” He nodded towards me and walked inside. I closed the door and sat next to him on the couch. Without speaking he pulled something out of his pocket and placed it on my lap. It was the magazine article about Harry and me. I inhaled sharply, but tried to look calm.

“Please, Susan,” he looked at me, “just explain this to me. I know that the paparazzi get a little out of hand sometimes, but I just want to hear it from you.” I nodded, this was it. The moment I was waiting for. I was going to tell him.

“Well, Harry and I are NOT a couple.” I reassured him. He saw through me.

“But there’s more going on.” He didn’t ask me, he simply stated.

“Yes.”

“Did you kiss him?” I took a moment to think about how to answer. I decided to proceed slowly.

“He kissed me a few times.”

“How much is a few?”

“Like three, I don’t know Ty, I wasn’t keeping a scorecard.” He looked at me. I could tell that he was still thinking about where we stood as a couple.

“Did you kiss him?” He repeated.

“I only kissed back once.” I sighed, he nodded his head and processed the information.

“Anything else?”

“There was some harmless flirting.”

“Sex?” I shook my head.

“Are you still a virgin?” I nodded. He took a deep breath and turned his whole body towards me.

“Do you like him? More than a friend?” I furrowed my brow, and nodded slowly. He stood up, anger and hurt flashed in his eyes.

“Ty-” he clamped his hand over my mouth.

“Give me time to think, Susan.” I nodded, I was waiting for him to yell at me.

“I just, wow. So are you going to dump me for him?” His voice sounded bitter, anger edging in. I shook my head.

“It’s up to you, but there is nothing and will always be nothing going on between Harry and me.”

“Of course there is nothing fucking going on between the two of you! HE’S HARRY FUCKING STYLES! You’re just- you’re just you. Why would a superstar go for you?” I was expecting to be yelled at, I deserved nothing less, but still, his words hurt. I held back my tears and nodded. He continued, his voice softening, but his words still bitter.

“I mean, when you never texted or called me, I started to get suspicious. I just thought it was because you were too busy with your brother. I guess I was wrong. I trusted you, but you’re just a whore!” He spat. I deserved that. I stood up to him so that I could look into his face.

“Tyler, I never meant to hurt you…” I spoke softly. His jaw flexed.

“Well you should have thought of that beforehand.” He turned to leave, but something stopped him and he turned back to me.

“I feel bad for you. You think Harry loves you, but he probably doesn’t. I mean, you are the only girl in the house, he probably was using you for something only YOU could give him.” I looked up at him in disgust. How could he say that?

“Harry isn’t-”

“I’m sure he isn’t like that,” Tyler mocked, “he’s probably like all of the other boys who only come and visit you out of sympathy.” That was taking it a little too far.

“Tyler, stop! You don’t know them.”

“I wonder why your brother fled from you as soon as he could. X-factor saved him from YOU! He only visits you because he feels bad he left you alone, completely alone. You will forever be alone.” Anger coursed through me, venom filled my mouth and I went into defense mode.

“You have no idea what the fuck you are talking about!” I yelled at him. I was about to continue, but he started before I could.

“You pathetic excuse for a girl! You think they care about you? You think that they actually WANTED to spend this week with you?” He laughed obnoxiously. “You should have known, though. Harry is a manwhore and if he actually wanted you, you wouldn’t still have your virginity! But no one wants you.” That was the last straw. I slapped him across the face. Immediately after I did so, I stepped back, surprised and regretful. I should have expected him to act so defensive and bitter. I deserved it. I couldn’t help it though, something inside me snapped when he mentioned Harry. He looked up at me, complete rage in his eyes.

“You did not just FUCKING SLAP ME!” He yelled.

“I-I am sorry. I-I didn’t mean to-” I tried to apologize, but he cut me off.

“No, you did mean it.” He hissed.

“Maybe we should take a break. Maybe we should just go and calm down and-” He cut me off again.

“ THIS ISN’T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT IS!” He shook my shoulders roughly. I tried to pull away, but he held me in place. I looked up into his eyes and an emotion I had never felt before rushed over me; terror. I was afraid of him. He saw this, and enjoyment flashed in his eyes.

He slapped me across the face, much harder than I had slapped him. I shrunk up in his grasp. He shoved me onto the ground and kicked me before walking off.

“We aren’t done, Susan. We are FAR from done.” He roared as he stormed out, slamming the door behind him. I lay there, crying. This morning I was worried about going numb and not feeling anything. Now, that was not what was concerning me. Now, I was in pain. Now all I felt what pain, there was no numbness. Now, I wished for numbness. My external injuries were not the source of the pain. No, although I hurt outside, it was inside that was killing me. Tyler was right. I was all alone, forced to suffer my pain in solitude, for eternity.