Golden Eyes

Chapter 20

A/N:

Hey guys so sorry for the lateish chapter. I've been working on it but I had exams, this program where I stayed at a college for 3 weeks to learn russian, my great-grandma died and I had to attend the funeral, and I left my school as I will be transferring at the end of this year. 

I have decided to make my chapters shorter. Instead of between 3000-4000 words, it will be between 2000-3000. I realized that if I continued making long chapters, this book might end earlier. But don't worry, I won't leave each chapter on a huge cliffhanger that will make you angry until the next update. :) 

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Chapter 20

Raven's POV

I woke up at around 4am drenched in sweat. The nightmares have come back. I used to have them when I was younger but they eventually went away the more I trained.

Amos was laying fast asleep next to me. He didn't touch me but was close enough to nearly graze me. 

I wish I wasn't as weak as I was yesterday. I wish my past didn't leave behind so many scars. 

Yet, all I wanted to do was cry. And be small. Not the big scary dragon monster I usually am. I just felt empty inside. 

I shuffled out of the bed quietly, careful not to wake Amos up. I walked slowly to the bathroom before shutting and locking the doors. I turned and looked at myself in the mirror. 

I looked like a fucking corpse. Empty inside and lifeless. I even felt that way. My black hair was disheveled, my eyes were a pale grey, and my whole skin tone was pale. 

I turned away before looking again, nearly screaming at the new sight. 

It was me. But not me, now. It was me, then. A little girl covered in dirt with ratty black hair. Scars all over her body, and new cuts tinting the pale skin to a flushed red. Lifeless eyes, with no hope, no emotion. Weak.

 I looked like I looked then, and that killed me inside. I ignored the pictures flooding my thoughts and stripped myself of my clothes.  

I turned the shower to a scolding heat before walking in. I let the tears fall silently, mixing with the drops of liquid that fell on me.  

I don't know what I am going to do. I have to go back. And I need to fight my past. I refuse to let it hold me back from being strong. 

I didn't leave the shower until my body was reddened and my fingers were wrinkled. I hobbled out of the bathroom and went to get dressed.  Amos was still asleep so I just got dressed in my usual attire. I ran downstairs and started a pot of coffee. I needed to think. Focus.

I just stared into the vast nothingness whilst running through ideas in my head...

Hey Despayr? 

Yes, Raven? By the way I am sorry that the nightmares have returned. We will fight this. 

I smiled softly, Thanks Despayr. However, I need to figure out what to do. 

Well, you can do something smart or stupid, depends on how long you want to wait until this matter is settled. 

What's the smart option? 

Figure out a way to get closer to the Alpha, teach him lies about dragons. Then see if there are any others that he is torturing, and save them. After that, determine how to handle the pack and the Alpha. Either go hell's blazing, or leave them alone.