The Letters

To judge or not to

December 17, 2010

Dear Natalie,                                                                       

You were so not the person I thought you were at first. I won’t lie, I thought you were a stuck up bitch who didn’t care about anyone but themselves. I would watch how you treated your twin brother Nathan and then think to myself, “Wow that was rude.” Who could have guessed that the reason you talked to him like was because you cared. If I would have known that your brother was kind of a creep from the start, I would have been on your side.

There were other things too that gave off that “I am better then you,” vibe. Mostly the way you dressed in high class clothing and how you walked. You walked like a model would down the runway. I had no clue at the time that your mom and dad were loaded with money. I also didn’t know that from a young age your mom made you take modeling classes. It would explained a lot for the way you acted.

I guess you can pretty say that I judged you by first impression. That was kind of rude of me.

I said a lot of mean things about you to my friends and other people around the school. I know for a fact that you found out about something of the things I said. I am sorry. I didn’t know what I do now at the time.

It wasn’t until I started dating your brother that I begin to get to know you. I guess with all the time I spent at your house, it was only a matter of time before I had to talk to you.

I remember the first time I came to your house. Your brother asked me over to dinner with the family. When we walked up to your house my jaw about fell to the ground. The house was three times the size of mine (which we all know my house is no more then two bedrooms and two baths). The outside was painted in beautiful colors by flowers from all around the world. I guess they are right when they say “The grass is greener on the other side.” I fell in love with your house.

The inside was even greater then the outside. Cherry wood floors flooded the house with beautiful wood carvings on the cream colored walls. Each room looked as if it came straight out of a Home Deco magazine. I was pretty sure my breath stopped for over five minutes as I looked around the house. It finally hit me that you two came from good money, which explained the nice clothes.

I remember dinner just being the three of us because your parents had late night meetings that day. I’m guessing it was a nanny that cooked dinner that night before leaving to take care of her own children. It was a great dinner. Some of the best food I had had in awhile.

We had small conversations about school and things like that but it was all short talk. At the time I still thought you were a bitch because you didn’t say much to me. Pretty much everything you said was to your brother. In my mind, it seemed like you thought that you were better then me. I had no idea at the time that it was because you hated getting close to his girlfriends for the simple fact that none stayed around for long.

After that dinner I dated Nathan for a few more weeks and then I realized that I needed more from a relationship. I knew that your brother couldn’t love me the way I wanted to be loved. He only knew love through physical touch and I needed love to come from the heart more then his hands. The brake up was hard on him. I saw it in his eyes when I told him it was over between the two of us. Soon after that, I started to see the creepy side of him.

I would see him following behind me in the school hallway, which at first I didn’t worry about. I mean, it was school and most of his classes were close by mine. He still sometimes sat with me at lunch because I did say we could stay friends. Maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say to him.

I started to freak out when I noticed him following Zoe and me home one day. The first time I said something to him he said he just wanted to hang with us. I told him fine but he didn’t need to follow behind us any more. I guess hearing that made him happy as well as think too much into it. He would call me almost every day asking to hang out, like we were still together. I kept telling him no but he wouldn’t listen to me.

Soon after he stopped following in sight. I could see him sometimes walking real slow behind us and then he would hide if I turned around. One day while walking home Zoe, she pointed him out. When I turned around, I could no longer see him so I yelled out that I was going to call the cops on him.

Deep down I didn’t want to call the cops because I know that your brother is a good person with a heat of gold. I don’t think he knows that he is doing what he does. So that is when I decided to talk to you. I thought that maybe if anyone could get through to him it would be you.

When I came to you and told you what was happening you told me that you would talk to him. We talked for awhile about your brother and that is when I saw that you were not a bitch. You were so deeper then I thought you would be. We talked for hours about how I am not the first girl he has staked. Then you asked if I wanted to hang out sometime. I said yes.

We soon became good friends and you joined the group with Carson, Zoe, and me. We had some great times at school and after school. Your Halloween party was a blast this year. I never thought that parties could be so much fun.

I wish that I didn’t judge you the first time. We could have had the chance to be friends longer. I feel bad that we didn’t get the chance to really know each other. I bet we would have had a rocking friendship that lasted a while. You were going to be one of our sweet mates in college. We would have had so much fun.

At lest now I know Zoe will have someone by her side in college since I will be gone. Please do me a huge favor. Take good care of her. I know that she will need a good friend in college and after my death. Both you and Carson need to be there for her. It would mean to the world to me.

Have a beautiful life Natalie.

Love, Summer