The Letters

My Little Bloom

October 10, 2010

 Dear My Little Bloom,                                                                                                               

30 letters rest inside this notebook. Each letter wrote to a different person who played an important role in my life. Some are people I loved dearly while others hurt me deeply. My little bloom, Zoe, there was things I should have told you about my life but, yours was so great and I didn't want to rain on your sunshine. Oh, and don't think that you played a bad role in my life. If anything you are the one who kept me here for so long. I was your little Bee and you were my little bloom. We were made to be best friends. God made us that way, I'm sure of it.

I chose for you to be my first letter for many reasons. Zoe, you were my role model. You were always so beautiful in my eyes. Your long coffee colored hair would always hug around your body, helping to show off your hourglass body. Even if you said your hips were a bit too wide or that your baby fat still hung around you face you looked beautiful to me. Sometimes, even the most beautiful flower will have an imperfect leaf or a tiny hole from a caterpillar, and that is why you were my little bloom. Even with your imperfect look you still beautiful. If I had to choose a flower for you, it would be a rose. Roses are lovely to look at and smell wonderful. Of corus if you mess with one you'll get a thorn. You were a lot like this. Even with me sometimes, but I never held it against you for I knew I was the same with you. Remember all those silly fights we had that would cause us to not talk for almost a week? We always knew everything would work out. All we needed was some time to cool off.

I'll never forget that one fight we had that cause to not talk for a week and one day! It was freshmen year and you were dating that sleazy bag named Scott. (Just between you and me, he wasn't even that good looking.) You got super upset at me when I told you that he would hit on me whenever you left the room. He even tried to kiss me once! Yuck! Anyways, you didn't even look at me until you found him kissing Kelly in the locker room once day. I'll never forget the look on your face when you slammed through my bedroom door that night. It was a mix of pissed off, sadness, and joy. Your eyes were wide but had the stains of tears underneath them. Your lips were puffy and your cheeks would have matched the deep red paint on my walls. If it hadn't been for your bright clothes, I think you would have blended into the wall. You had your hair pulled back into a messy bun, giving me another clue that you had been crying. Crying was the only time you pulled your hair back into a bun. We spent that whole night talking and laughing about the whole relationship while eating ice cream along with other junk food. My mom even left you stay the night on a school night. I'm sure we gained about ten ponds that night but we didn't care. We had no need to be super skinny like the rest of the girls.

 

Now that I think about it, you never did have any luck with the guys. I remember having to hold you tightly one lunch time because you just found out that Luke was really gay and you were just a cover up for his mom. I mean, come on Zoe. Everyone knew he was gay but you. Didn't you find his girly fashion to be kind of odd? No straight guy would make sure his shirt matched the shade of blue on his jeans and that his shoes matched the colors as well. Also, no straight guy would spend more time doing their hair then you! That’s really saying something too cause you took like a hour to do your hair. Anyways, there was also that one time you found Ethan going through your mom's clothes. Now that guy was just plain creepy. Didn't you meet him at the mall? I don't know. I was just glad that you dumped him. Like I said, you never had any luck with the guys. But hey, want to know a secret? I might know your dream guy.

Remember Carson, my ex-boyfriend? You two would be perfect for each other. Carson:  is handsome, sweet, smart, and a super funny guy. When the two of us were dating, I thought we were meant for each other but I sure learned that wasn't true. I saw the way he looked at you. I notice how the two of would laugh together. It’s why I broke up with him...wait...I told you that he broke up with me. Well, its time I start telling you the truth. I broke up with him because I wanted you two to get together. I knew Carson and I were not meant for each other but when ever I tried to hook you two up you would always tell me he wasn't your type. Zoe, you make things hard for a girl sometimes. I hope you know that. I really do hope you two start dating. It would be such a lovely thing to watch from my cloud up above.

Well, now that I am done playing match maker, I need to tell l you something Zoe. My life wasn't what you thought it was. Sure, I loved my parents, school was ok, but deep down I had a lot of demons. Demons that started to eat me up. I've put a lot of thought into this. So I ask that you respect my wishes by not showing this book to anyone. It would just bring to much pain to some of the people who have letters in this notebook. These 30 letters are meant for you and your eyes only. When you finish reading all of them put this book in a safe place. Like our hiding spot under the great willow tree in the woods behind your house. That would be a lovely place to hide this book. Or, you can burn it. I don't care which one. Just pick.

My little bloom, don't miss me when I am gone. I'll be heading off towards a better place. One where my demons will be gone and I'll be able to rest in peace. Do know that I loved you more then anyone could chose to love a best friend. You were the sister I always I wanted. I know you will be in pain for awhile but in time that pain will fade. Soon you will only be able to remember all the good times we had and then nothing but joy will fill you. Remember, my demons will be gone. I'll be happy and so should you. I won't say that I am sorry for what happens but I will say I am sorry for the pain you will have to feel. I am so sorry for that. Also, I ask that you don't blame yourself for this. You had nothing to do with any of my pain. You just happened to become friends with a girl made of demons. Our eleven years of friendship will always mean to the world to me. Thank you.

But I must end this letter now. I can hear your footsteps coming up the stairs of your house. I wish you the most beautiful and amazing life that anyone could have.

Love, your little bee, Summer