|Recap|
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It was extra and deeply deep and I wanted to just cry because it matched the old me. "I made this song for you" Kellin said and Gabe gave me a friendly smile. That's when it hit me... The flashback of the day kellin saved me.
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|Hazel| ~July~ |7months|
I got up and hugged kellin and the others. "You guys.." I said tearing up and Kellin sneezed me. "I am so fucking proud of you baby" he mumbled to me. "Let's go out tonight. Like shopping. YES BABY SHOPPING! ALL OF US!!" Jack yelled scaring me. "Yes get ready!" Kellin told me. "Help me" I said walking away. I felt Kellins arms wrap around be and support me walking up the stairs. He helped me find something fitting.
When we arrived at the mall, I stopped by the mags and saw my face on one. I smiled and then noticed there was man staring at me. I backed up in Kellins arms and we walked around. There was this lovely store that was for babies and beginners so we decided to go on in.
I unlocked my phone and got texts from my model friends telling me congratulations. I was confused until and found out some paps who are far up models asses, leaked me and Kellins pictures of us walking just a couple of minutes ago. They literally fucking tagged kellin in a pic and it's just blowing up. On the other hand, it's blowing up from the bandoms fangirling because Kellins a dad. It made my heart melt.
I shrugged. I am so thankful I am not as big as Justin Bieber. I think I'll put my work aside and live this part of my life because I now have a family and I love this feeling. I love my baby and kellin. I love the boys and will do anything to support their band in any way so I want to be open about it.
"What about this one?" I asked kellin. I was currently going clothes to clothes because it was baby heaven. "What if it's a girl or boy?" He asked which made me stumble on that thought. "Let's get both, you shop for boy clothes and I'll shop for-" Kellin grabbed my hands and stared at me in the eyes. "Let's just go find out.. Wouldn't you love that?" He was smiling big and I smiled and nodded. After we just got clothes that would fit me and my round belly, we took off towards the nearest clinic or hospital and we were able to hear the words that we wanted.. Well I honestly didn't care what my baby was as long as it's alive and has a beating heart.
"It's a baby girl"
My heart dropped and I squeezed Kellins hands and he was giggling and then his laughs became pieces of fake laughs before his eyes tested up. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt so happy.
As soon as we walked out, Justin and Gabe was just sitting in their chairs and Jack was standing up analyzing the fish tank. Then their eyes caught mine and we told them the news and of course, sleeping with sirens fangirling.
{sorry this is boring, I'm half asleep}
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|Kellin| ~July~ |7months|
"I'm sleepy...wait I need to pee" Hazel said as she wobbled up the stairs slowly. She declined my help so I was fine with that but I kept watching her go up the stairs just to make sure she's fine. My poor baby girl has too eat more food for the baby now. Well she has been.
"Hey kellin.. Did you know we have to go on tour again soon. For leg two and we agreed on that We like it quiet tour AND you we still have that madness tour very very soon. Exactly right after world tour" he said. I heard sudden movements and I turned to see Hazel looking at us, leaning against the wall. "Hazel.. Can we talk" I said. "No, I know enough.. Kellin.. What about the baby?!" She yelled. "Hazel. I promise I'll be here for her. I'll be here for you. I'll make trips down here, I'll schedule flights for you to come down-" "no! I am not going to ride in a plane, carrying our baby" she was getting teary.
"Sometimes I feel you don't give a shit or care about neither of us. I'll go stay with a friend for a while" she slowly walked back upstairs. I hurried after her. She was moving around packing her bags. "Hazel please don't do this.." I begged feeling a gush of sadness. "Or what? Kellin, if I stay here.. It's only going to make things worse. More stress, more loneliness. More distance" she said and I could completely understand. "Hazel.." I begged.
"I'm not leaving, I'm staying here" she said while she had the last bag. She pointed at my heart and I looked down and she moved her hand away and exited the room and I could hear her steps going away. And then soon, the front door was slammed. I could hear Gabe yelling for her outside since the house was so silent.
I stood there thinking of what she said. I'm not leaving, I'm staying here. I stood there and pulled my journal out and started scrubbing those, what sounded like lyrics to me down on a piece of lined paper. I stood there feeling my heart broken. I wonder if I am able to add songs on the album. We don't have a deluxe version for madness, maybe I will add a couple of songs.
I was pulled into reality even though my songs are real. I slammed my head on the bed frame and hollered. This is exactly what happened the last time we were together. I'm not the one for her. I know I'm not.
Maybe I should stop seeing her-what the fuck kellin?! I am not going to take after my father! I am not going to walk out on my family! I will not watch this baby grow without its father. I am not going to break hazels heart!! I will not do that! I am going to do something about this before it's too late.
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