|Recap|
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I just walked along the road and near a tall apartment. Maybe getting a beautiful view would help me find where I am. This doesn't look like Orlando in a way. I shall walk all the way on top of the roof like an idiot and try and clear my mind and be happy. I hate the feeling of sadness.
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|Hazel|
"Get out or I will force you out!!" My adopted dad screamed. His name is Corey. I flinched. "But I have no place to go!!" I sobbed. "I don't want you here anymore!! Your a bad influence on Kathy!! She's only 12 and she thinks cutting is okay! I don't want her cutting herself or starving herself just because of these nasty bands you listen to and how you've done it before to yourself too!" He yelled back. He was a nice guy, was. He is now kicking me out all because of Kathy. Kathy is purposely copying everything I do when I am trying to be secret but she sneaks up on me. Yes I did cut but it's been a long while. I listen to bands and she somehow used a stupid app to find the artists, Shazam.
I shook my head. "What?!" Corey screamed while pushing me. I stepped back loosing balance falling. I got up slowly. "I CANT LEAVE! THIS IS MY MOTHERS HOUSE!!!!" I yelled. "GET OUT NOW!!" He screamed slapping my face. I flew to the ground before getting up and hurrying out the door. I didn't dare turn around because this place was known as hell now.
I ran down the nearby alley that had a huge place and collided my hands with a door handle and opened it going up the ton of stairs not even out of breath because I felt like I was about to explode. The building was about 7-9 stories high. "I can't do this anymore" I sobbed holding my face in my hands while sobbing and taking my first step on the roof railing. I stood on the edge of the platform of the roof gazing at the stars. It was a little light. I looked down and stared at my black tights and shorts I was wearing along with my sleeping with sirens jogger. I stared at my body immediately feeling so self conscious. I felt more tears rush down my face. My thigh gap seemed bigger than it usually was and I felt my ribs, still the same as usual. Bones. But I can't seem to feel any better about myself. I love my eating disorder because I feel in control and proud of something I can do.
I wiped a lot of tears from my face and slowly moved forward more. "I just can't do this anymore" I whispered and slowly let my weight I had left in me, and pushed myself forward but only to be shoved completely back thrown on the hard cement. I looked up hoping I was in the afterworld only to meet my eyes with my idol, Kellin Quinn. "WHY NO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!!!??" I screamed getting out of his arms and running back to the edge but he did it again and held me tightly this time. "Shh it's going to be okay!! Hey hey calm down!! Please why would you do this?!! Calm down!!" His magical words said. I was yelling over my sobbing and screaming, my outbreak I was having.
I blinked to clear my vision and he had red eyes. Great I made him cry too. "LET ME GO! I JUST WANT TO LEAVE!! I HAD PERFECT TIMING AND EVERYTHING! WHY!!?? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAVE M-ME!!" I sobbed and he kept quiet.
His eyes seem to turn dull and his face looked frightened. "Because no one deserves this at all. I swear to god your life will get better. Just give it time... I know how you feel because I've once tried to take my own life. You don't ever turn to suicide because it's not the answer. I swear to god, if you need anyone, I will be here. I never wanted to meet a friend like this. It breaks me so fucking much and I'm trying to figure out what the right thing is to do right now and I thought saving you was it" he said with a very shaky voice.
He rocked me back and fourth and I cried in his chest. I stood there crying and crying and he kept kissing my forehead. My idol just saved me. I was about to kill myself and he witnessed it.
"What's your name sweetheart?" He whispered in my ear. "Hazel" I whispered back. My voice cracked. "Promise me you'll never ever do that again" he said and I stared at him into his green eyes. "I-i don't know" I said looking down. "Can't promise that things won't be broken, but I swear that i will never leave" he said and let a tear drop from his own eyes. I didn't want to see him this sad so it made me become a little emo too.
"I'm kellin" he said. "I don't know why you did what you did" I said and he kept quiet. "Make me a promise right now, you will and will not ever harm yourself in any way" he said. I swallowed my dry throat. "I promise but I might break that promise one day" I said and let another tear fall. I looked away slowly and shut my eyes. His arms were still wrapped around me and I crawled out of them and hurried at the door and ran down the steps fast as I could.
The door opened and I knew it was kellin. I was probably on floor 4 by now and he was on floor 6 of the stairs. "Hey please!! Please stop!!!" He yelled. I didn't listen but hurry my way down to the first floor to exit the building by the exit part. I ran away hoping he wouldn't find me. We met in the worst way anyone could possibly meet their idol.
I wiped tears as I felt so embarrassed. So unworthy. So useless. I had no where to go. Maybe I can stay the night at a friends house.
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