Texts I've Gotten From The Signs

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  Texts I've Gotten From The Signs   

Aries:I GOT THE DROOMITY DROOMS

Taurus:Pour molten aluminum on my toes

Gemini:a bad thing is going to happen and his name is (inserts his own name here)

Cancer:My fucking power is out. I'm home alone. Oh no. Yeah, this is where I die.

Leo:hand feeding a tiger usually means feeding it your hand

Virgo:girl I'm eating Taco Bell rn and I'm not even halfway through it but I can already feel it
fucking up my insides

Libra:Not dead at this moment but earlier was "dead as a dead person"

Scorpio:AFTER I KICK YOUR BUTT, I'LL MAKE YOU SOME COFFEE OR SOME SHIT YOU LIKE.

Sagittarius:ZAK BAGANS IS A LIE
Capricorn:Ummm.. Kinky cereal sex and inside jokes?

Aquarius:WAIT DID I DRUNKENLY BUY YOU ANOTHER TEDDY BEAR?

Pisces:I MEAN THE DEVIL REALLY LIKES IT SO LIKE. WHY NOT.

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