Losing Your Memory

6. In This Moment

Bellamy's POV:

I'm shaking...why am i bloody shaking? A sudden surge of frustration bolts through my body and i swing my fist out, punching the first thing i can find.

Crap, i pull my hand away from the tree almost as quickly as it makes contact, shaking it as if the pain will fall away and land on the ground.

It isnt bleeding...much. i wipe the blood off from the small cut and the bleeding stops. I look up and out onto the camp, everything seems back in order and most people have now spoken to Clarke, explaining everything she can't remember (mainly her friends). Even now i can see her sat with Raven, the faint hint of a smile on her face as Raven talks to her. I feel a second urge if anger, but not for myself this time, for Raven.

I know it wasn't entirely Raven's fault but she knew Finn and Clarke were together yet she still-

"Bellamy...you alright?"

I quickly turn to see Jasper stood to my side and flash him a slight glare yet i feel calmer.

"You always sneak up on people?" I snarl, leaning back against the tree i just punched, folding my arms in contentment and smirking to myself.

"I'm not the one who was creepily staring into the distance..."

"Whatever" i reply as i see Jasper's expression, matching the smug look i had previously held on my face.

"I hear you're going to help Clarke get her memories back...she's been telling me all about it...seems pretty excited" Jasper says with a calming laugh yet he isnt smiling. "You really think it will work..."

"I didnt know you were so pessimistic Jasper" i say, giving him a harder than hearty punch on the shoulder as i sense the doubt behind his words. Without anymore to say on the subject, trying to ignore the contagious pessimism closing in around my chest, i head towards Clarke.

Just as she sees me, she stands up and for a moment it is like i had once imagined, her standing and running towards me...me! No one else and i could hold her...not carrying her bleeding body, but holding her because i can, holding her and-

"Bellamy! What are we going to do today?" Clarke asks excitedly, her voice piercing through my thoughts and i suddenly feel very empty, as she stands there seemingly miles away, my arms without her. I clear my mind and my throat, forcing a smile.

"Well i figured you've never left camp..well you have but you can't remember...anyway, this is effectively your first day on the ground and i figured you'd probably want to see whats on the other side of these walls" i say with a knowingly cheeky grin and Clarke beams up at me. Without a word she turns around, picks up her pack from the floor and starts heading for the gate.

"You coming?" She says with a hint of eager impatience, looking at me over her shoulder. I take a deep breath in and jog up to her side as the gates open wide.

As we step out into the woods i walk slightly behind and watch intently and slightly ammused as Clarke bounds ahead, not like an excited child...but more like an interested researcher and i am watching as the drawings on the pages of all the books she has ever read come to life around her, and it is quite something.

She strides in between the trees, pushing herself off and around them, moving faster with no hesitation. She stops at a wide stretch of flowers.

"Bluebells" she breathes so quietly it is almost a whisper and i can't stop a snigger escaping my mouth. She looks back at me slightly annoyed yet confused and i just raise my eyebrows at her.

"What?" She snaps and i shrug.

"Nothing" i sigh although i had seen her say the exact thing before, when she first came here, of course i had been stood at the back of the group glaring at her because she wanted to haul the entire group accross the forest to find food, i had disagreed...eventually i got my way and we began to set up camp.

"Right over there...thats where i called you privalledged...and that wasnt a complement by the way" i say matter-of-factly, pointing to the rough area we had had our first conversation... well it had been more of an argument.

"I see..." she answers slightly bitterly "i guess we didnt get off on the right foot"

"Oh no not at all, you despised me really...and i'm pretty sure you still do" i say with a cheeky grin. Although i wont tell her, im actually quite enjoying this.

"But...i assumed...since you were helping me-"

"Hey it's the river" i interrupt purposefully.

"You know i am starting to get that whole hatred and despising thing" Clarke says lightly, coming up behind me and when i turn around she is smiling, but her eyes looking up at me seem more curious than anything.

I force my gaze away from her and clear my throat "we get most of our water from this river and some from rainfall" i state as if fully taking on my role as "tour guide".

Clarke is still watching me with suspicious eyes and i force mine to stay focused on the water, i am afraid for some reason, she makes me nervous and i have never been able to explain it.

"So they tell me you're a hunter" Clarke says, finally looking back at the water.

"Ah so you have been asking about me, your mysterious night in shining armour" i joke, welcoming the glowing warmth in my stomach i feel at the thought of Clarke actually asking about me. This is like a second chance, a second first meeting and so far its much better than the last.

"Hmm, I don't know about shining armour" she says, cocking her head and examining my scruffy and ripped clothes "but Mysterious...yes" she finishes in a quieter voice, turning away as if shy. I have seen Clarke many things, angry, infuriated, excited, happy, annoyed, irritated...okay mostly angry...at me...but never shy.

This was different, different to the times we have spent bickering about what we should do for the 100, different to the times we have spoken with Finn by her side, constantly interrupting and different to the way we usually stand away and opposite from one another...and now, standing here by her side as the water reflects in her eyes, i have never wanted to hold her more than right now. In this moment it is like we are seeing one another for the first time and i cant help but smile.

AN: After what feels like years i finally update ahh life is hectic with exams sorry. Hope this was worth the wait, when will someone spill the beans about Finn and will Finn get there before someone else can warn Clarke? Find out and keep reading...please?

I ♡ you all xxx