Losing Your Memory

9. Safe

"Bellamy! Bellamy wait!"

I spin around instantly mid loading my gun as i hear Clarke's voice. She is calling me? Of all people.

She beams up at me and i laugh at her, folding my arms. "Did you eat too many coffee beans? Have you been keeping a secret stash and not telling anyone?" I joke and she giggles (adorably).

"No! Last night! I remembered some stuff, just bits and pieces about our rough landing and when we first arrived! That's good right? I spoke to my mum quickly on the radio a moment ago because, as you know, she is worried sick and wants to constsantly moniter my progress!" Clarke rambles, not taking a breath the entire time!

My heart sinks. My chest is aching. Her memories are resurfacing? Should i tell her about Finn? Now? No i can't. What if she remembers? She will remember telling me...she will know that i knew but didnt tell her.

I look back at clarke, her blue eyes blazing in the morning sun. I can't possibly tell her now...she looks so happy.

"That's amazing!" I cry and then Clarke's arms are around me. I am hugging Clarke Griffin.

"Thank you Bellamy! I doubt i would have come this far without you. I may not remember much...or anything...about you but im glad you gave me the chance to start again and i have liked re-getting to know you" Clarke says, her cheeks flushing pink as she pulls away and then hurries off back towards the centre of camp.

I am stunned. Utterly and completely stunned. I see Finn by Jasper and Monty sorting nuts, and handing them to people as they are the only things we have to eat at the moment, he is watching me beadily. God does he have nothing better to do.

I watch as he skulks over to Clarke and starts smiling, acting. She smiles back and my heart tells me to stay, i cant leave him here with here, but my head tells me to go on the hunt because we need the food!

So i leave with the hunting party, my anger at Finn making my shots with my spear alot more accurate and by the time i get back we have 5 rabbits, a dear and plenty of birds for the camp to feast on.

"How's the new meat shed coming along Atom?" I ask, looking over at the lads now rebuilding the shed.

"Good, almost done" Atom says and i nod at him.

"Thanks Atom" it is Octavia. She smiles at Atom and he walks over to kiss her. I look away with a sigh and walk off to check around camp.

I go up into the drop ship where Raven is twiddeling with the radio and it is making a loud sound of static

"Piece of crap!" She cries, hitting it, before turning it off and putting her head in her hands.

"Give it a break. You alright?" I ask, despite also wanting to yell at her. I know she had been Finn's girlfriend on the Ark but it didnt excuse what she did.

"Bellamy you can't tell her! I feel awful...this is my-our-fault" she breaths and i feel secretly glad that she is willing to take the blame.

"She will find out eventually-"

"No! Bellamy give him more time-"

"Give who more time?" I snap, angry now.

"F-finn...he said he would sort it out-"

"Oh! Umm sorry i didn't mean to interrupt" I spin round to see Clarke, she looks tired. Something is up. Raven instantly straightens herself and smiles.

"No worries, i was just leaving" Raven says, flashing me a look of warning. Once she is gone i turn to Clarke who is looking very uncomfortable, holding her arms protectively.

"I can...uh go if you-"

"Stay."

She smiles softly and leans against the table, looking at her feet.

"You alright?" I ask worriedly and she smiles at me but i see it break before she turns away quickly.

"I'm fine...it's just Finn..." i tense and gritt my teeth, taking a step closer to her so there is almost no distance between us. "He...well i know we were dating..or something. I mean he made that obvious when he kissed me. Except i dont remember. I want to remember and he keeps smiling at me and coming close but i dont even know him...i mean is it bad that i dont feel like he is trying? He is expecting me to suddenly fall for him...things are different now" she says, glancing up at me now, a mysterious glint in her eyes.

"I-i'm sure he understands, he probably just wants you to feel comfortable around him...i...im sure your memories will come back..."

"But, you have been trying! I mean you have been trying to fill in the blanks for me..." Clarke says quietly, standing now so we are face to face and in very close proximity. "Why you?" She whispers, looking me up and down curiously.

"I- umm. I just...you know...i have to uh go..."

I have to GO? What am i thinking. I walk out of the drop ship and take a deep breath. I dont know what to say or what to think, i can still see Clarke's wide eyes in my mind. She is so beautiful...

Clarke's POV:

I am breathing heavily and my heart is beating double time. Why, i dont know. I wish Bellamy hadn't left. I have grown so used to his presence over the past few days that being without him feels...wrong?

Although i had remembered bits last night i still can't remember Bellamy, i remember first seeing him on the drop ship but nothing beyond that and part of me can't trust him...like i cant trust anyone at the moment, yet...since the accident i have only felt safe, with him...

I am flustered and i don't like it. I feel weak when i should have my guard up. I know i have been on the ground for over 10 days yet it all feels so new and strange. It is overwhelming, especially with Finn crowding me...

My mum said my memories should slowly start coming back. I focus on that! When i remember, everything will be easier. I will know who to trust and things can go back to normal.

I stare at the drop ship curtain. Why is Bellamy helping me? And why did he rush out? I feel like he is hiding something from me and from this moment i am determined to find out what it is...i also can't ignore the fact that i just want to talk to him...to see him again. He is currently the closest thing i have to sense...he somehow makes it all much clearer...

AN: So Clarke is getting suspicious and Bellamy has got the love bug? Keep reading to see where this goes...will Bellamy tell her before she finds out for herself?

Love you xxx