Deep down inside my heart (A Jesy Nelson story) *slow updates*

Chapter 9: We're not a couple!

(Perrie)

"It's our moment, I know you're hurting but think about the water..."

Leigh-Anne's words repeated in my head while I finished my part in the race, I was hurting and I needed someone to help me get through it, but I was scared to open up.
I sighed looking around. Daniel congratulated me from his little booth next to Leigh-Anne's sister Sarah-she's a lovely girl.
I waved back and jogged to the team being clapped on the back and congratulated while I took sips of water to refresh my muscles. I saw Leigh-Anne climbing out of the pool then head over to the toilets and sighed.
She hadn't lived up to her promise, she didn't even take me out earlier-I think she was avoiding me and that made me sad-was I really this hung over about my situation right now?
"Girls may I speak to Perrie alone please?" Kim suddenly jerked me out of my thoughts. I looked up, slightly worried-she was going to kick me off the team wasn't she?! "Come on pez, it's not necessarily bad." She assured me kindly. I straightened up momentarily. She waited for me at the door of the planning room while I made my way to her side. "Well be back girls." She said, everyone nodded and we entered the planning room.
"Perrie I know you are struggling, we all miss her-I get it-I really do, but right now I wanted to ask since we have no team anchor at the moment, would you like to take Jesy's position as anchor?" She asked. Whoa, that was a good offer but I would rather someone else play anchor than me, I've only been here for a bit-maybe Leigh-Anne since she's one of the top, er from my point of view.
"Wow, um coach-that's a really good offer, but I, um well I haven't been here as long. I really appreciate it, but I think Leigh-Anne deserves this, she's one of the best athletes on this team." I said.
"Are you sure Perrie? I'm not trying to do this to hurt you, I promise-I could never do that." She said softly. I nodded smiling half-heartedly to tell her. "I know Kim, but I think it's Leigh-Anne's turn." I said. "Alright Perrie, thank you for helping out. Now go out and fetch Leigh-Anne will ya?" She clapped my back.
"Yeah I'll send her out." I agreed walking out the door, I knew it was the right thing to do, I wouldn't be able to handle all of this, and Leigh is the best person to place in that position, except one thing-I'd have to talk to her, and I didn't really want to. I stopped to think. What if Leigh only talked to me because of Jesy? After all I'm the newest addition to the team, and I'm weird, I'm pale, I'm blonde-okay I have loads of flaws. What did Jesy even see in me?!
I stopped right there, I couldn't think of this-it would only bring me down, I have to be strong.
"Perrie?" A familiar voice jerked me back to reality. I saw a slender figure standing in front of me.
"Oh um, hi Leigh-Anne." I said suddenly nervous, why couldn't I just talk to her like usual? "Hi." She said flicking her fringe of hair out of her face, something fluttered in my belly at that, maybe I was sick? "Kim uh-wants to speak to you." I said quietly. "Okay, what's wrong pez?" She asked me.
"It's nothing." I shook my head.
"Come on, I know when you're lying Pezza-maybe I can help." She took my hands trying to comfort me, I felt sparks shoot up my spine. I jumped nervously. "What Perrie? I'm not going to hurt you." Leigh asked. I could tell she was slightly confused on my behavior. "Um, I just." I stopped, I knew she pulled away from me but I didn't want her to stop being my friend, not after all we'd been through. "Are you ignoring me Leigh? I would rather you tell me than just leave without telling me." I said quietly. Something flashed in Leigh's eyes. Guilt? And something else.
"Oh Perrie, I'm sorry if I'm being distant! I know I didn't take you out, I know that. I broke my promise, but I just can't think of anywhere-but I promise I won't leave you, we've been through so much, how could I ever leave such a beautiful young lady like you?" She said pulling me closer to her, I burrowed into her chest finding the warmth I was seeking. "I'm sorry pez, I'm sorry, but I promise I could never leave you-much less forget about you." She said.
I felt her breath tickle my ear and looked up and a pair of lips were pressed against mine. I kissed Leigh, oh god. Her eyes were wide. I broke out of the kiss. "Perrie I'm-oh my god I'm so sorry! I was going to kiss your cheek!" Leigh said backing away, I didn't say anything. I stood there feeling mesmerized. I finally opened my eyes, Leigh-Anne was still standing there with her hand over her lips-I wanted to feel them again. I walked up to her.
"Perrie, what are you-." She started, I cut her off fisting her shirt in my knuckles and clashed our lips together.
She stood there for a second without saying anything or breaking out of the kiss until I felt her lips starting to move against mine. I felt weak in the knees and ran my hands up to her neck, locking them there.
She placed her hands on my hips to pull my body closer to hers and backed me up into the wall. I felt something in my stomach, was it butterflies? Like when I would kiss Jesy, but suddenly Leigh-Anne's lips were like heaven. I think this is why something wasn't right with Jesy and I's relationship, maybe she wasn't meant for me. "Perrie-uh, I'll be back." Leigh-Anne broke the kiss resting her forehead against mine. "Okay, I'll be right here." I nuzzled my nose into her neck for a moment before pulling away. "Be right back." She placed a small kiss on my lips before racing to the planning room to talk to Kim.
I still can't believe what happened. I kissed Leigh-Anne, she kissed me back.
I kissed her three times. And I liked it, but what did that mean-had I possibly had unknown feelings for Leigh-Anne this whole year?
My back rested against the wall while I brushed a finger softly against my lips, the electric tingles were-wow, it was amazing, I can't believe I actually full on snogged her lips. I recalled the way she reacted, she had kissed back-maybe this was the start of something, I don't know where it's going to go honestly.
I stood there for a while until I heard footsteps. I saw Leigh-Anne coming over to me with a smile on her face. "I'm the anchor of the teeeeaaam." She fist-pumped. I giggled giving her a hug of congratulations. "Thank you pez." She murmured into my hair. "You deserve it." I replied. She took my hand and led me back to the team. Everyone was laughing and chatting normally. "Heya girls!" Mariana called noticing us. "Hey." I gave them all quick smiles then they seemed to be looking at us weirdly. I suddenly felt uncomfortably vulnerable under the team's stare.
"What's the staring-?" I tightened my grip on Leigh-Anne's hand and shrunk into her side. "Are you two-? Ooohhhh you girlies!" The team gasped, I realized-the hand holding with Leigh-Anne, and oh lord-they must think we're together now. Leigh-Anne didn't catch on yet. "Guys, what are you on about?" She draped an arm protectively over my shoulder and everyone squealed. I started turning red, we were not a couple!
Lea was the only one who was quiet, she shook her head apologetically; I nodded.
"Oh nooo, guys! Come on we're not dating! The girl misses Jesy." Leigh-Anne caught on and soothingly ran a finger over my knuckles. "Are you sure? Because honestly, I would be fine with it." Ally squeaked.
"No we're not dating, come on pez. Let's go." Leigh said in frustration and started leading me over to the locker room.
It was true, I did miss her-but now I don't know if it's just some stupid hormonal issue or I actually do like Leigh, I'll worry about it later.
The girls kept calling out comments about PDA in public places and 'fun'.
I wish they would stop-I know I was actually decent at hiding how I felt, but this time I allowed it to take over my face and felt Leigh's muscles in her arm contract while she readjusted her limb and opened the door for me. "Don't worry pez, they're just tiring to lighten the mood, but it obviously backfired." Leigh said when I went over to my things and plopped down. "Yeah it really did, I'm sorry Leigh." I agreed. I watched her while she opened her locker and pulled her clothes out and her shower things. The match was over five minutes ago, I should probably get ready to get home also.
"Are you coming?" I looked up to see Leigh-Anne standing in front of me. "If it's okay yeah." I said lamely. She chuckled pulling me to my feet.
"Of course it's okay." She murmured tucking a strand of hair behind me ear. I felt fluttering in my stomach again at her touch.
"Smile pez, it looks good on you." She said. I felt my lips start to turn up at her comment. I leaned forwards giving her a small peck feeling her start to smile against my lips too. "Now we're both smiling." I took her hand.
"Yes we are." She agreed smiling down at me. And with that she started to lead me to the showers once I collected my stuff.
"Wear something nice tonight pez by the way." She said once we stepped out of the showers. I gave her a quizzical look-wear something nice?
"I'm taking you out today." She said simply. I smiled bouncing over to hug her. "Thank you Leigh Leigh!" I squeaked excitedly against her neck. Her chest rumbled while she laughed. "I owe it to you anyways love." She giggled twirling me around causing me to laugh loudly and lock my arms around her neck.
"Leigh! Stop it! You're gonna hurt your hip again!" I squeaked remembering her injured hip.
"I'm fine." She laughed still twirling me around.
"Leiiigh!" I squeaked in laughter, returning to my old self. "Okay." She giggled putting me down.
Maybe Leigh-Anne Pinnock was starting to make me fall for her, and I hope it works for the better.



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No A/N today be lucky, but feedback please <333333 I love you all very much :)