Deep down inside my heart (A Jesy Nelson story) *slow updates*

Chapter 15: Too far

(Perrie)

"-Is Leigh-Anne your next love interest Perrie?"
"Perrie do you have any ideas on who would poison the drink?"
"Did you two really just break up?"
"Who cheated?"
"How's the double life!?"
"Did you cheat on Jesy with one of your teammates?"
I ignored the paps trying to get to Hollister. I ran into the shop and into the fitting rooms sighing, calming down, bloody paps, couldn't they respect the fact that some people like to keep at least part of their lives out of the fucking public eye?!
I had tried to go out for a while to get some things since we were on break for the weekend (it was Friday). Leigh and I were leaving today to go to her beach house, to just relax in our down time, apparently the paps couldn't let me rest, they'd spotted me the moment I set foot outside Leigh-Anne's jeep. I hadn't had a second of peace or quiet, the cameras were nightmares, and they'd gotten so much worse now that Jesy left and the Olympics were still on.
I looked around the store once I'd calmed down some more, maybe some shopping would really help, it would take my mind off things. I felt my phone go off in my back pocket. I saw it was Leigh-Anne who was calling. I hit 'accept' and placed the device to my ear. "Hello?"
"Hey are you alright love?" I felt comfort in her voice.
"I'm alright, ran into Hollister, are you okay?" I worried, they'd swarmed around her car when they saw me. "Just got out've the swarm, I'm going to eat you call me when you're ready okay?" She asked. "Yeah that's great thanks Leigh, you're the best." I smiled, Leigh-Anne has been the best honestly, ever since she's always been nothing but a sweetheart. "Perrie?" I blushed. "Yes Leighly? Sorry I was thinking." I blushed.
"How cute anyways I was saying I'm going to be in Nando's." She laughed. "Ohhh, okay yeah that's fine Leigh, see you soon?" I smiled. "Yep, by the way would you mind getting me a blue SnapBack? I promise I'll pay you back later." She begged.
"Woow Leigh, I was actually waiting for you to say something about it." I smirked, her and those hats! "I know, but I'm really sorry! I left mine home so. Yep." She was probably blushing, I could picture her blushing on the other end of the phone line. "Okay, I will." I answered. "Yay!" She cheered. "Right, I'll see you later." I giggled. "Definitely, I need the hat man." She declared. "Okay Leigh, love you crazy." I giggled.
"Love you too pizza!" She chirped and the line ended. I put my phone back in my pocket giggling at the silly girl I could call the bestest person in the whole wide world. I truly owe her a lot and I was always myself around her, I felt whole again when I was with Leigh.
I winced. Eek that sounds so cheesy! Oh well, I knew it was very true. I snuck out of Hollister with a pair of pink jeans and a cute vintage top along with a bit of perfume.
The paps were still here, I groaned in annoyance and turned around running into Topshop. I made a happy noise seeing rows of doc martins in the store, taking up a black pair. Then I walked down the aisle once more to see some hats. I spotted a blue SnapBack that said 'fresh'. Perfect for Leigh-Anne.
I grabbed it and headed to pay for my things. Next I went to urban outfitters. I ended up bringing back a dress, some flannel blouses and two pairs of boho shorts. I phoned Leigh to let her know I was finished she had gotten me a few things from Nando's to pay me back for getting her a SnapBack which had me pretty happy. I then walked out mindlessly, but cursed as soon as I felt a flash hit my eyes. Paparazzi.
"Perrie what does it feel to be left here while Jesy's in America?"
They slowly began to multiply, I was starting to be trapped in a circle of them while they literally attacked me for information. I looked around for Leigh, hoping I'd see her, or anywhere I could go and hide. But no, all the paps surrounded me, trapping me. I felt like an animal, being cornered ready for the gunshot.
I heard a car horn and tried to jump up and look for Leigh-Anne.
"Perrie! Has Jesy ever hit you?"
"You know who poisoned Jesy don't you?"
"Do you have anything you'd like to confess?"
I stopped cold; how dare anyone think I'd poisoned Jesy! How could I ever!? No, I'm done
The paps grabbed my arm to keep me in place.
"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING?! YOU ALREADY RUINED JESY, THE TEAM AND ME WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT? YOU'VE ALREADY TOSSED MY LIFE IN THE GUTTER!" I screamed at the cameras.
They pressed me once more, I had tears threatening to stream down my face as I looked for Leigh-Anne seeing her sitting on the roof of her jeep. She waved for me to come to her. I looked around getting more camera flashes go off. "Perrie how long have you and Leigh-Anne been sleeping together?" A pap yelled.
I looked down and shot forwards, pushing past the paps once more, they tried to keep me in place, I yanked my arm out've one's grasp. "Get off me!" I yelled feeling one tug on my bag. "Get off you wonker!" I yelled bursting out've the ring of paps and felt the tears start falling as I began running to Leigh's car, shoving past the stray paparazzi. I looked up once more looking for Leigh while hearing the cameras following me in their little swarm, there was no way in hell I was getting stuck in there again.
"Perrie! Duck!" Leigh-Anne's voice yelled I saw her holding a smoke bomb. I closed my eyes and crouched seeing the bomb sail over my head and landing in the swarm of paps. "Come on!" She shouted, I saw one of the security guards gesturing me over. I wiped a stray tear from my face and ran to them, finally reaching the jeep. I tossed my things in and hopped inside while security drove off in the other direction, seeing the paps following our security guy once the smoke cleared up, Leigh floored the gas and we peeled out've the shopping center.
I couldn't hold in the tears anymore, now that I'd gotten away I decided it was safe to let my emotions through, I read that it's not good to bottle them up inside yourself, you can turn depressed and basically stray down a wrong path. I settled with burying my face in my arms and let the tears out, I sobbed as Leigh-Anne drove. "Pez Aww baba." Leigh turned to watch me at a stoplight. I shook my head and cried harder, why did the paps have to be so brutal?! Why couldn't they move onto some other case or dram up someone else's life?
"Come on baba, it's okay. Shh." Leigh cooed stroking my hair while she kept driving. "I'm-s-sorry Leigh." I cried, she could crash because of me. "It's fine baba, just calm down okay?" She waved it off. "Okay." I sniffed, she was right I need to calm down.
"God I'm gonna fucking punch them in the face one day, they took it way too far." She murmured, I shook my head vigorously, she sighed in annoyance and sympathy seeing the state I was in.
I cried for a while longer, letting Leigh-Anne soothe me, running her fingers through my hair and brushed strands behind my ear. I managed to calm down thanks to her, I kept my face in my arms however, I blinked feeling tears fall from my lashes once more then Leigh's arm disappeared from my hair. Moments later I felt my car door open and my seat belt was popped open. "Leigh?" I asked while trying to wipe my eyes, sniffing a bit. She hummed in response, I felt her arms wrap around my body and she lifted me up out've my seat. I wrapped my arms around her neck feeling her carry me out of the car, grab something and begin to walk once she locked the jeep. I closed my eyes sighing out, I was tired.
After a while of walking I felt Leigh-Anne lower me onto a blanket or towel. I opened my eyes seeing the shoreline of the beach and my Nando's Leigh had promised me lying besides me. But where did Leigh go? I scanned the beach looking for the curly-headed girl. I then spotted her sitting at the edge of the beach, the water rising up to her thighs. The effect the sun had on her tan skin was amazing, she appeared simply breath-taking to my eyes. Wow, I can't even believe I never realized how beautiful Leigh-Anne is. She's an absolute angel, from they way she smiles to how amazing she is and how wholehearted she is with me. I smiled softly seeing a butterfly land on her shoulder while I began to eat my Nando's for dinner. Leigh-Anne saw the butterfly and smiled at it, placing a finger next to it. I watched entranced as she managed to have it walk on her finger and placed it on her knee turning back to watch the skyline.
The view was breathtaking. The sun gave the land a fiery orange color and the waves glistened as they clashed lightly against the shore. It was beautiful. I finished my food and stood brushing off the crumbs from my shorts and took off my flip-flops, walking over to the beautiful girl sitting on the shore. As I approached her I heard her humming casually. I recognized the song: 'Atlas' by Coldplay I loved it! I was perfect for relaxing. It was from catching fire. The second hunger games movie. I stood behind her shoulder watching as she smiled and hummed seeing the butterfly beat it's wings to her voice. "That's amazing." I breathed out. Leigh's hand twitch in mild surprise, the butterfly however remained on her knee. "Hey." She smiled seeing me, offering me a hand. "Hi." I smiled lightly while taking her hand, letting her bring me down.
"How'd you do that?" I asked once I sat next to her seeing the butterfly still perched on her knee. "This? Oh, I've just er, had the patience to get it to settle around me I guess, my mum taught me." She blushed lightly watching the creator beat it's wings once. "It's really beautiful, the wing colors." I admired the butterfly, it had lilac and sky blue wings. "It is, here, want to hold it?" Leigh asked holding out her hand to have the butterfly hop onto her finger. "Okay." I answered smiling. "Just be gentle and don't move too fast." She said while gently placing the butterfly on my arm. I expected it to fly away or try and bite me, but no, it stayed. "Wow." I breathed seeing it beat it's wings to adjust it's position.
"Yeah, it's amazing actually." Leigh let out a small giggle. My heart squeezed in amazement, her laugh sounded magical. Always has. "It is." I agreed watching the little creature walk on my arm.
"I decided to head to the beach house now. Ava promised to take care of Daniel with Sarah." Leigh said while she watched the sun again. "He loves being with them, great idea Leigh, thanks." I felt weight lifted off my shoulders a bit more. Thankfully I could trust them, although sometimes Ava was a bit forward on me. I glad he would be safe. "No problem pez, I got your bags too since they were beneath your bed." She said. Wow she really knew me. "Wow thanks Leigh, you really know your stuff." I admired the butterfly once more before lifting my arm, watching it fly away. Leigh watched it as well. "I guess so pez." A shy grin quirked on her lips.
"I'm sorry." I spoke once more after a small moment of silence. "For what?" She lay down letting the water lap at her skin once more. "For earlier. You know, the paps." I said while regarding my feet. "Hey." She spoke softly. I watched her gaze. "Come here." She held a hand out to me. I flitted my gaze to her, she didn't seem annoyed or angry at me, just worried. Concerned.
I took her hand and let her pull me onto her lap.
"Do you feel me?" She took my hand looking up to meet my gaze. I nodded. "Right, so tell me, am I real?" She asked. I nodded, of course she was. "And are all those rumors true?" She continued. I shook my head, no. "Exactly. But this." She went on and brought my palm to her cheek. "You and I, we are real, two beings out of millions that live on this planet. Those cameras, those... savage people aren't amongst us, they're just looking for money or something to mess up. But us, we are pure we aren't made of lies, this is real." She finished resting my hand on my leg. She went to remove her hand but I wanted her comfort for a while longer and closed my hand around hers, bringing it up to my face and resting her palm against my cheek.
"Leigh you're amazing." I spoke softly resting my cheek against her palm. "I'm just being realistic here pez." She answered wiping away a stray tear from my cheek with her thumb. I lost myself once more in her dark brown orbs. They were so lush... interesting... adventurous. Leigh gazed back at me. It's been three months now since Jesy and I parting ways. I still miss her, but I don't feel empty anymore. Or at least right now. The brown eyes I was looking into filled up the empty void inside my heart.
Leigh-Anne watched me, her gaze flicking to my lips and back to my eyes.
I realized our noses were touching and my body was still on her lap, facing her. I allowed myself to inch closer, I loved feeling her lips on mine they were so soft and heavenly. Leigh took that as a good sign and extinguished the gap between our lips, kissing me. And god did her lips feel like pure bliss. I smiled at her movement and tilted my head forwards to deepen the kiss some more. No words were spoken, just hands traveling: mine settled around her neck, she had one hand behind her to support us while the other snaked around my waist to bring me closer to her, to have me basically straddle her waist, playing with the edge of my loose muscle shirt. I twirled a bit of her hair around in my fingers while we kissed, her hand ran up my arm and rested on my shoulder blade before she lost her balance slightly. I broke away with a squeak of surprise when we began to tip over.
Her elbows lowered her down onto the sand, she blushed lightly. I giggled following her and leaned back down to reconnect our lips. I felt her smiling and pressed pecks to her lips. She giggled playing with strands of my hair. "You're adorable." She said.
"You're beautiful." I pecked her lips once more.
She really was.

---------------

:)