Faded (Minishaw)

Ch. 1

??? POV

I can't stop thinking about you, where you are, why this had to happen and why you have not come back yet, I hate that this happened, It was not my choice, but it was not your either so I can't blame you for leaving me behind. I still don't know why and I guess I never will, but I want to. I feel like I need you, you are like a drug to me and I need a fix, I just need you here with me, and I need you now, I don't know how long I can hold on with you not here with me, I just feel so faded. 

Common, you need to live your life, he is not coming back

You will find love again

He was just not meant for you,

Suck it up

You need to start doing things, this is not good for you

These were sentences that I heard from everyone around me on a daily bases, I know I've been sad, OK I was not sad, I was depressed. I lost the person that I was the closest to and he just disappeared without a trace, no explanation or anything, just one day he was gone, two days later I got a note, one sentence, that was it, only one crappy sentence that did not explain anything. 

- Sorry, I did not want this to happen, this was not my choice but I can't take you with me. I love you always –

All off his stuff was gone from his flat, his flatmates had no idea, I had no idea, his parents had no idea. It was like he had vanished from the face off the earth. He has had no contact with me or our friends, or even his parents for 5 months now. But in the note he said he had no choice. I did not understand and I guess I will never get the explanation either.

"Wanna go out? Grab some food" I head someone say from outside off my door

"Not really"

"common Harry you need to get out off the house, this is not good for you"

"I just don't want to go"

"Stop acting like a baby, just get dressed and come with us"

"Just fuck off Cal, I don't want to go out" I yell at him, I don't want to do anything, I sometimes just can't. 

"Harry, there is no need to bite my head off, get yourself together man, this has gone on for far to long, suck it up, stop being so bitchy to everyone, It's not like we left you" Cal said to me in a harsh tone, I guess he is sick off me, I can't say I blame him. I don't know If I would have been this patient with him if we were to change positions.

"just leave me alone Cal, I don't want to go out"

"you need to get it together man!" he tells me through the door and I hear him walk away

"Cal give him a brake, he is depressed, he just needs time, and he needs support" I heard Tobi say to him as they where walking out off the flat

"nahh man, I'm done, he has been acting like this for 5 months now, I can't deal with this anymore, It's making me so mad, I can't stand it much longer, he just needs to go out and do stuff, stop feeling sorry for himself"

"you don't have depression, you don't know what it's like for him, he can't help it" Tobi tells him, at least someone is sticking up for me. 

"He just needs to snap out off it, It's a state off mind"

"Cal are you for real? Simon just disappeared and no one knows what happened or where he is, only thing he got was a stupid letter, I think you would be depressed as well if that happened to you" Tobi said as they walked out off the flat. I could always count on Tobi to stick up for me.