Faded (Minishaw)

Ch. 23

-In Harry's mind while he is out –

Harry's POV

I wake up in a cold metal box, there is a bright warm light there but I don't feel quite ready to go there yet, I feel like it's calling out to me to walk closer, but somehow I don't feel like it's the right thing to do. Everything feels so strange, I'm not in pain, I don't feel numb, I don't feel sad. I am myself again. But where am I?, that is another question that I don't know the answer to.

I look around me and I see pictures on the wall, except that they are not pictures, they are my memory's on the wall, it's like I'm in an art gallery, there are moving pictures on the walls but there are not paintings there are my memory's both good and bad ones. I walk around for a bit and I see the first time I met my little brother, I'm holding him and kissing him on his little forehead, he looks so cute, then again so do I if I say so myself, me and Rosie are just sitting there with mum on her hospital bed, just looking at Josh, I remember how happy I felt to finally get a little brother. 

I continue walking and I see a family picnic at the park, I'm 9, Rosie is 6 and Josh is 3, I'm the leader in some game, I just stand and watch that for a bit smiling at that memory, I see my mom and dad smiling, they looks so happy and they look so young. I miss them.

I then go on to the more recent memory's, I see the first time that I saw Simon, He and Josh came into the café I'm working at, I see me staring at Simon, I did not think I was that obvious, but I sure as hell was, I just smile at how stupid I look, I see him looking at me to, there is this connection strait away and I just know that I have to go and talk to him. So I go the safe route and get him a chocolate cake.

"who is that from?" he asks me as he smiles

"on the house" I say as I go bright red, Simon just smiles at me and puts out his hand for me to shake

"I'm Simon, nice to meet you"

"I'm Harry"

I can't stop smiling at that memory, It was almost 2 and a half years ago but I still remember it as it was yesterday.

I see more memory's with Simon and me together, I see him meeting my family for the first time, I still remember how nervous I was, he was not as nervous as I was, it was so strange, I did not even want to do that, It felt so strange, but I love that guy and I wanted him to like my family. Of course they liked him, who does not like Simon to be honest, everyone likes Simon.

I walk around more and I see all these beautiful things, then I come to a stop, there was a new painting being hung up, it was a funeral, I see my mom and dad crying, I see my little sister and brother crying and I see all my friends crying. I even see Simon, he is there. Then it dawns on me, that's my funeral. I'm watching my own funeral, I don't want to die, I don't want everyone to be sad over me. I need to go back. How do I go back, I want to go back.

I can almost hear the light calling out to me and the urge off going over there is so strong, I feel so tempted to just walk over there, It's the easy way, but I have to fight back, I will fight back. I don't want to die, I want to wake up, what the hell have I done.