Faded (Minishaw)

Ch. 8

- Harry can't get out off bed-

Harry's POV

Simon has been gone for a month now, I don't know how to act, I have lost the ability to smile and laugh, I've done nothing except slept, worked and studied for my classes, my brain is on some kind of auto control. Just the same routine over and over again

Wake up

Go to school

Study

Work

Study more

Cry myself to sleep

My friends are trying, I know they are, but I just can't get myself out off this hole that I'm in, I feel like I'm not in my body anymore, I know that does not make sense but, I feel like my body is just a shell and does the things that it needs to do and the day just goes by, grey and uneventful, nothing happens, I don't want anything to happen, I just want Simon, I want him back with me.

On the days that I don't have work or school I just lay in bed all day, I'm not even watching anything on TV or my computer, I want to continue Game of Thrones but that is something that me and Simon always watch together, I can't start without him, he would be angry with me if I did that. Or would he? was he still watching it, without me?

"Harry want anything to eat?" Sarah asks me, Sarah is Callum's girlfriend and she basically lives with us even if she has her own place with some girlfriends.

"not hungry, thanks though" I say and smile at her

"common, Cal and Cal went out, we can go and get cake or something, you know cake can help fix a broken heart." she said and smiled

"yeah, OK" I say, to be honest I would rather talk to her than the guys, they just make me feel worse about myself, I know they are trying to be helpful but they are just not, Sarah and Freya are nice to me and they actually help me a bit. Especially on the days were I can't get out off bed, and lets me honest here, that is most days. 

"let's go to the bakery on the corner, I could kill for there strawberry cake right now" Sarah said as she dragged me out off my room.

We then sit down in a corner off the café and I'm just picking at my cake, I'm not really in the mood, and I'm not that hungry either. 

"Harry you need to eat something, I know you are not eating"

"I just don't feel like it"

"I know you don't, but you have to"

"I just feel like I'm not here, I just walk around like a zombie all the time"

"I know, I've been watching you, I also know you cry yourself to sleep"

"how do you know?"

"after my first brake-up, I did the same, every day because I felt so lost, but that was different, he chose to leave, and life got so much better for me, I met Cal."

"so you think Simon might not have been the one?" I ask her

"I can't answer that for you, only you can" shetells me and I nod,

"I just feel so lost" I say as I look Sarah in the eyes 

"I know you do, but things will get easier, you just have to want them to get easier, I know that is so easy to say, but trust me I know" she tells me and I just nod, I know I need to get myself out off this rut that I've been stuck in.

 I actually finish my cake and Sarah looks like she is proudoff herself. She can be, this is actually the first time that I managed to openup to someone, she also promised me not to tell anyone.